Who's Number One: Taylor Swift's "Speak Now" is spending its fifth week at the head of Billboard's Top 100, according to Nielsen SoundScan. It is not, however, tossing its head back and laughing the carefree chuckle of an album that was still remarkably moving a quarter-million discs after two months in stores. The Christmas high has officially worn off, and "Speak Now," which sold 276,000 copies last week subtracted an entire column of digits from its total this week: 77,000. Welcome back to reality, folks!

Why? The bootleg Santas have officially left the mall. And evidently, not everyone loves Taylor Swift as much as her record sales indicate.

This Is Especially Bad News For: Anyone whose recent albums were comprised predominantly of holiday-themed music -- albums titled "The Gift" and "O Holy Night," for example. Susan Boyle plummeted from Number Two to 31 in a painful 92 percent drop, Jackie Evancho fell from Four to 39, and the "Glee" Xmas disc dipped from Three to 108.

Who Is

A contest held by the tourism board of Great Britain's idyllic Suffolk County to name the area's greatest icon loudly backfired when heavy metal enthusiasts in the area voted for Cradle of Filth's frontman Dani Filth to take home the honor. Because, with its 60 miles of breathtaking coastline and reputation as being the birth place of actors Ralph Fiennes and Bob Hoskins, who else could better exemplify the history of Suffolk County than the lead singer of a death metal band who once released songs called "Lord Abortion" and "Tortured Soul Asylum"?

Although Filth received over 13,000 votes in the Suffolk Icons contest, more than six times his closest competitor, the tourist board left the Marilyn Manson-esque singer off their list of 20 finalists, adding that Filth was omitted because he "lacked the required credentials to act as representative iconic images of Suffolk." Instead, we're left with such stalwarts of Suffolk iconography like "Fish and Chips on Aldeburgh Beach," "Racing at

Nearly a year and a half after the death of Michael Jackson, Dr. Conrad Murray, the physician charged with involuntary manslaughter in the King of Pop's death, finally found himself in front of a judge yesterday to hear the evidence against him. This wasn't the trial, however; this is a preliminary hearing that will determine whether the prosecution has enough evidence to bring Murray's case in front of a jury, but the hearings will serve as a thorough summary of what the prosecution will have in store once this does go to trial. Murray has pleaded not guilty to the charges.

Since the prosecution has the "burden of proof" in these hearings, it's rare that the defense would reveal its case, so it was no surprise when Murray's lawyer Ed Chernoff opted not to make an opening statement. Even though a preliminary hearing is like a trial sailing at half-mast, Murray's first day in court did have its share of stunning revelations:

Dr. Murray Wasn't The King of Docs: Acquitted or not, you

Put him in a bubble, Wayne Coyne-style! Vulture points out this colossal Flaming Lips rip-off they spied in a TMZ photo snapped at Akon's New Year's Eve show in Senegal. The TMZ headline: Akon Floats in Ballsy Crowd Surfing Stunt (slow clap).

Compared to Akon's other legal infractions related to onstage events (overly enthusiastic sexual dancing with a 14-year-old, hurling a fan into the audience in anger), stealing a trick the Lips have been performing since at least 2004 and placing a protective layer of plastic between himself and his audience may be the second-wisest thing the singer has ever done at a show. See the first here: Akon Banned From Aussie Arena Over One Wise Thing He's Ever Done Onstage. And see our favorite Bubble Boy story ever here: 'Seinfeld' Bubble Boy Loved Temple of the Dog, Ugly Kid Joe.

[Photo: TMZ]