In the first promo for Fox's new reality-singing import The X Factor, Simon Cowell has a bad dream in which he is unable to be mean and unable to find a loose-necked T-shirt. (The horror. The horror). The idea of applauding lack of talent is repellent to the OG American Idol badass, and once he awakens from his nightmare, Guns N' Roses' version of "Live and Let Die" blares as a montage of all the X Factor judges -- Cowell, Paula Abdul, record exec L.A. Reid, and Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger -- tear into contestants with cutting glee, i.e. "Shut it, and start singing." In one highlight, Abdul turns to address a member of the audience like an attack dog, "What are you lookin' at?" Reid tells a singer, "I wanted to slit my wrist."

Yes, it's like that, y'all. The X Factor will not be nice or encouraging, like the disgustingly saccharine The Voice or the most recent season of Idol, where Steven Tyler was nutty, Jennifer Lopez was helpful, and Randy Jackson had to play the heavy.

Foxy Brown has gone to jail for attacking a manicurist and been cuffed for starting a scuffle in a beauty supply store. She's been removed from a cruise ship for freaking out over a missed nail appointment and charged for hurling a BlackBerry at her neighbor. And yet her most recent legal drama was by far her most inane -- she was charged for mooning her neighbor last July. Yes, the same neighbor she smacked with the BlackBerry!

But today a Brooklyn judge dismissed the case -- a contempt of court charge for probation violation -- E! reports, because the neighbor didn't show up to testify. The victim, Arlene Raymond, had stated that during a verbal altercation, Brown (real name: Inga Marchand) bent over, showed her butt clad in brown underwear, and yelled, "Kiss my ass!"

Brown actually could have served time -- a year in prison! -- over the alleged mooning. But Raymond told the Daily News the case had become a "headache" and she didn't want the drama in her life. If she did testify,

Lil Wayne's Tha Carter IV has been delayed so many times, we're not sure whether to believe Lil Wayne himself, who claims it's coming out as scheduled on August 29th. Who knows if Wayne even knows what he's talking about anymore! Last week, in a quote grabbed from XXL's upcoming Weezy cover story, the rapper blamed producers and their poor beats for the album's delay while crowdsourcing for superior backing tracks. Now we've learned that in the very same XXL cover story, Wayne proclaims TC4 is finished. So, which is it?

As evidence that the album is done, Wayne rattled off all the guests that would feature on the disc: Nas, Busta Rhymes, Bun B, Cee Lo Green, Tech N9ne, Shyne, Jadakiss, and his Young Money compatriots (likely Drake and Nicki Minaj). Impressive supporting cast. Boi-1da, Swizz Beatz, Bangladesh, and Polow Da Don are among the ("slacking") producers who gave Wayne beats.

There are two very distressing reasons why we hope all this TC4 talk is false and that the album will

Lady Gaga is overseas. We know this because she has been tailoring her outfits to her locations, dressing like a panda in Japan and wearing what MTV described as curtains yesterday in Sydney, Australia as... an homage to the city's famous opera house? The Amplifier will accept other theories in the comments, but right now that's the best we've got.

As far as Lady Gaga evening wear goes, the lacy curtain-like garment (it's likely she didn't literally pull a Julie Andrews and yank her hotel's window treatment down) is quite demure, though it may have been suffocating -- note how Gaga seems to be gasping for air in the closeup to the right. The singer wore it to the city's Nevermind nightclub over her face, draping the excess fabric over her arm like a wrap. She paired the curtains with a cigar box purse, which means she accessorized her structured dress with Grandparents Chic. Other folks have referred to the outfit as resembling a burka, though that's pretty inaccurate. It's less like