Last night's Milwaukee audition episode of "American Idol" ended with Steven Tyler kissing a young girl and people weeping, but not for the unsavory reasons Neil Hamburger predicted -- the Aerosmith frontman had a tear-jerking moment with the brain-injured fiance of hopeful Chris Medina (who they sent through to Hollywood, because come on). It was an outstanding night for Tyler, who sang an impromptu "Sweet Emotion" with Randy Jackson, shaking what appeared to be a packet of Tic-Tacs as accompaniment. Now we understand how that off-the-cuff Home Depot performance went down (Steven likely spotted a package of nails and broke into "Love in an Elevator"). "Steven Tyler, you are insane!" Jackson exclaimed at one point. Uh, we're not complaining, dawg.
"Slap that baby on the ass and call me Christmas"
"Well, hellfire save matches, [expletive] a duck and see what hatches."
"I feel like I'm on a jungle gym here. This is great."
"Are those Tevas?"
"Dawg is gonna turn into a pussycat right now."
"I thought it had a lot of character and all of that mustard and smoke and heat."
"You got attitude, you know where to put it."
"I found you to be disturbingly great."
"I never heard anybody squeeze the flavor of that song. You squeezed it out so slow it was like Vanilla Fudge and 'Eleanor Rigby.' "
"I'm color blind, and unless you borrowed my lipstick, is that your real lips?"
"Take another little bit of my lipstick baby." (Sung to tune of "Piece of My Heart")
"Ally? Well, you look like you could be one of my ... nope. Can't say it."
[Photo: Jeffrey Ufberg/WireImage.com]