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Guns N' Roses' "November Rain," the epic music video by which all epic music videos are measured, clocks in at just over nine minutes, or roughly the same amount of time for Lady Gaga to actually start singing in her new "Marry the Night" video. For eight minutes and 47 seconds, Gaga once again takes her Little Monsters on a bizarre tour of cut-and-paste dialogue, otherworldly fashion, quick glimpses of borderline nudity, and too many post-modernistic pop culture references to list. Except this time, Gaga herself directed the video, so there's really no filter telling her to turn the volume down on her weird and ambitious vision.

"Marry the Night" starts off with Gaga, strapped to a bed in a mental hospital, providing audio commentary to her own music video, telling the viewer who designed the nurses' uniforms (it's next year's Calvin Klein) and why they wear berets to the side. Next comes a long scene where Gaga, "the morphine princess," tells her nurse, "I'm gonna make it… I'm gonna be a star… You know why… 'Cause, I have nothing left to lose…" And then, finally, the music starts at the four-minute mark. Except it's a piano concerto and not "Marry." It'll be another four minutes before the 'Born This Way' single turns up.