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    Blog Posts by John Kordosh

    • Katy Perry, Framed

      What if the worst thing ever was to actually happen, readers?

      What then?

      Now, there are a lot of really terrible things that could happen.  A runaway comet could hit the Earth and destroy us all!  A super flu virus could evolve and wipe out humanity in less than a month!  Ostensibly humorous blogs could be written!

      Well, something really, really bad has already happened.  The unholy alliance between the U.S. armed forces and popular music — yes, the military/musical complex that Pres. Dwight D. Eisenhower warned us about — is now a reality!  Songstress Katy Perry, a frequently featured artist here in Framed,  has openly locked arms with the United States Marine Corps in the video for her song, "Part Of Me."

      Like us, you'll be alarmed at the strident militarism of the video.  (It appears that Katy actually shot it at a Marine base in California.)  And, as you'll see, it glamorizes the authoritarianism and abject gun worship we've always feared would creep into our most beloved musical

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    • Justin Bieber, Framed

      Hidey ho, readers, and welcome back to Framed, where the good times are a priori!

      After a senselessly long absence from our blog, Justin Bieber returns this week with his very workmanlike new tune, "Boyfriend." We'd tell you what it's about, but — and this is something we very much regret — we have to paint something, right now, at this very moment.

      Darn the luck!

      We can tell you that the tune has hit #2 in the U.S. and that it's pretty much a reprise of all of Justin's other hits. Which — let's face it — makes it a valuable addition to modern culture. In the video, we see Justin unleashing his sex drive, which appears to be all-consuming, as he whispers into girls' ears! Right there, on camera!

      That's some Clark Gable stuff, no doubt about it.

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    • One Direction (Part II ), Framed

      When we last looked in at Framed, the guys in the British boy band One Direction were actively discussing the concept of "direction" and debating east versus west. It was riveting, enjoyable stuff, no doubt about it.

      We liked it so much, in fact, that this week's Framed also features One Direction!

      Seriously, is it any wonder people say that we're the best blog of all time?

      We think not!

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    • One Direction, Framed

      Hello, everyone, and welcome to Framed, the blog that continues to make a difference to you and everyone you love. You'll be glad you looked in this week, as our featured stars are the great One Direction, the Simon Cowell-championed boy band from the

      United Kingdom, with the video for their #1 hit, "What Makes You Beautiful."

      The guys came together on the British X-Factor, which is just like the American show except without Lyndsey Parker. Originally, they tried to get in as individuals, in the "boys" category, but everybody just laughed. Then, Nicole Scherzinger suggested they team up in the "groups" category, and history was made.

      Since then it's been nuthin' but merchandising and fan hysteria, as O.D. has taken the world by storm. Their debut album, What Makes You Beautiful, hit #1 all over the place, and One Direction has now hit the road to entertain their many, many fans all over the world. You're sure to cheer out loud that this beloved new band is now in the finest blog ever written!

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    • Whitney Houston, Framed

      Whitney Houston's death has been one of the year's biggest, and saddest, music stories. The talented singer's many struggles with drugs over the years have been well-publicized, so we won't repeat them here.

      According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Houston was the most-awarded female act in history, having sold over 170 million records in her lifetime. She had eight Top 10 albums and 11 #1 hit singles, and was a powerful influence on many modern singers. Said Jon Caramanica in the New York Times: "She was, alongside Michael Jackson and Madonna, one of the crucial figures to hybridize pop in the 1980s."

      We've been wanting to do a Whitney Framed for some weeks, but it just didn't feel right. That's because Framed is generally funny — or, it was until we wrote this introduction. But in looking through her videos, we realized that "One Moment In Time," which was recorded for the 1988 Summer Olympics, didn't feature Whitney in the video at all. Instead, it features images from the '84 and '88 Olympics to a Whitney soundtrack.

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    • The Monkees, Framed

      For a band that was 100% completely fabricated — something like this very blog, come to think of it — the Monkees have certainly enjoyed a lot of fame, record sales and even respect over the years.

      Assembled for TV in 1966, their show lasted on NBC for only two seasons, but the band's legacy has lasted up to the present day. Their glory days — they once had four #1 LPs within a one-year span — faded quickly, yet they have become an indisputable part of musical and pop culture history.

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    • Bruce Springsteen, Framed

      One of the biggest stories in music this year was the release of Bruce Springsteen's latest album, Wrecking Ball. The record debuted at #1 in 15 countries. BBC Music spoke of "masterful execution," and The New York Times said it included "some of Springsteen's most elaborate studio concoctions since Born to Run."

      Heck, even Y! Music's own New This Week praised it — somewhat wildly, a habit over there — as "an interesting listen."

      With all those kudos flying about, we've been wanting to listen to it, too, but we must've had other stuff to do! This week, though, we're finally getting around to it by featuring "We Take Care Of Our Own," the album's first single.

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    • Flo Rida, Framed

      You know what we don't have enough of, here in Framed?

      Outside of readers whose posts are so witty that every one of our blogs goes viral by default?

      Rappers. Rappers are what we need. Everybody likes rappers.

      This week, we begin to make up for past mistakes by featuring Flo Rida, the great songwriter/singer/rapper from we're too lazy to look it up, in Florida. He's had five Top 10 hits in his career, and worked with everyone from Akon to T-Pain to Ke$ha.

      Our video is a good 'un — it's "Good Feeling," which was a 3x platinum hit for 'Rida last year. In the vid, we see Flo Rida travel all around Europe, just like we all do every summer. Look for Snoop Dogg in one scene.

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    • Rihanna, Framed

      Rihanna just keeps on making news, and — as always — Framed is on the story. Is she back with Chris Brown? Totally not back with Chris Brown? We don't know, but this week we're featuring "We Found Love," the singer's very excellent video for the song that was #1 longer than any other last year.

      The video, which seems to be about relationships, is disturbing in some ways: violence and drug use are fairly prominent themes. In fact, Christian pastors blasted her for "sexualizing women" (see "'We Found Love' Video Blasted by Pastors for Sexualizing Women in The Christian Post) and anti-rape campaigners dubbed it a disgrace (see "Rihanna's video for 'We Found Love' is 'a disgrace', say anti-rape campaigners" in the NME.)

      Still, the song was a smash hit, and has already been covered by Coldplay, Chris Allen, and the folks at Glee. Despite the naysayers, Rihanna just keeps on rollin'.

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    • Train, Framed

      Is it daylight savings time already? Yep — but it sure as heck ain't laughter savings time!

      Welcome to Framed, the internet's premier "funny captions" website!

      Every week, readers from around the globe flock to our URL to enjoy a music video and, better yet, the very amusing captions we write for the video. In addition to being funny, our captions are also topical and, on occasion, existentially neat!

      Best of all, the introduction to Framed is deeply informative and never, ever padded with filler, as if we were trying to reach a certain word count.

      The very idea, in fact, is ridiculous!

      But enough said.

      This week we welcome back the great San Francisco band, Train, and their video "Drive By." It's really good; you're sure to enjoy it.

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    Pagination

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