Blog Posts by Lyndsey Parker

At the end of last week's "American Idol" results show, everybody was in high spirits, all smiles and giggles, because the Judges' Save was used to spare lovable Michael Lynche and no one actually went home. The delighted contestants subsequently whooped it up onstage as if they'd all won the show in a nine-way tie and had all been handed six-figure record contracts by Simon Fuller himself. But once the curtain fell and the confetti settled, the top nine probably realized they shouldn't have been so dang happy after all.

Why? Because the judges' decision last week created real and lasting consequences for the top nine. With the one Judges' Save already gone, relatively early in the season, all the finalists would be performing without a safety net from then on. And this week, not one but two contestants would be eliminated, to get the series back on schedule.

So the mood onstage this Wednesday night, on the live double-elimination results show, was noticeably more somber. And Ryan

In past "American Idol" seasons, viewers looked to Paula Abdul to supply the show's requisite loopy comedy and awkward moments. But now, with Paula gone, host Ryan Seacrest seems to have stepped into that buffoon role, exhibiting increasingly bizarre behavior all season long. Until this week, his oddest antics had occurred when sparring with Simon Cowell (seriously, the two of them have practically come to blows during their "witty" banter). But on Tuesday's Elvis Night episode, Ryan took his cray-cray shenanigans to a whole new level--or more specifically, a new low--thus setting the blogosphere and Twitterverse ablaze.

For instance, while Tim Urban (suddenly nicknamed "Turban" by Ryan) was performing "Can't Help Falling in Love," Ryan started slow-dancing in the aisles with a stocky male audience member, nearly throwing Tim off-track. The cameras never shot a close-up of this same-sex dancing duo, but Ryan later claimed that his partner had been Season 8 finalist Michael Sarver--a

It ishighly unlikely that when Green Day were snot-nosed teenage punks playing Berkeley'sunderground/underage Gilman Street club and signed to indie label Lookout Recordsin the late '80s/early '90s, they imagined they'd someday become one of the biggestrock 'n' roll bands on the planet. And it is even more unlikely that they thought theirmusic would one day be adapted for a Broadway musical. But in 2010, that'sexactly what's happened.

The hyped American Idiot musical--featuring originalmusic and characters from the Green Day album of the same name as well as 21st Century Breakdown; based on a bookby Michael Mayer and Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong; and produced by the Spring Awakening team of Ira Pittelmanand Tom Hulce--opens on April 20, 2010 at New York'sSt. James Theater. It's definitely a punk-rockfirst, and if you don't think scoring a Broadway production is punk atall...well, Green Day don't really care what you think.

Here'sGreen Day's Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, and Tre

Viewers and bloggers, myself included, have rightfully whinedall season long that this year's "American Idol" just hasn't packedthe punch of seasons past. So this week (an especially importantdouble-elimination week), Fox apparently lurked on a few expletive-riddled messageboards, heeded these complaints, and decided to do something about it, bybringing back one of the "Idol" contestants who made Season 8 so memorable:Adam Lambert.

Adam returned to "Idol" as this week's mentor, andhe was the first former contestant to receive such an honor/responsibility. (Asa side note, I'd love to see other personality-plus Idols like Kelly Clarkson,David Cook, and Fantasia coach on future episodes.) Since Adam was in the topnine's shoes (albeit in his case, they were platform shoes) not long ago--andsince he is always so unfiltered--I knew he'd give the struggling contestants somemuch-needed straight talk, so to speak. And I hoped that, maybe, just maybe, he'dpush them to take some risks and, as he

Most American Idols are made, not born. Sure, their singingability may have been there from the start, but they walked into that auditionroom looking like just any boy- or girl-next-door. It was only after they weremanhandled by a 19 Entertainment-supplied dream team of stylists, hairdressers,makeup artists, personal trainers, and cosmetic dentists that their superstar transformations were complete.

And of course, some less fortunate Idols end up going through changes on their own, both good and bad, once they leave the show and are left to their own devices.

So what sort of makeovers (or makeunders) will Season 9's contestantsundergo once "American Idol" is over? Will Siobhan Magnus ditch the Missy Elliottboots and Mr. Peabody spectacles once and for all? Will Crystal Bowersox combout her dreads? Will Andrew Garcia cover up his neck tattoos? Will Casey James(gawd forbid) chop off his goldilocks? Who knows? But here are some of the moredramatic and drastic 

metamorphoses of Idols past.

So far this season on "American Idol," I've been disappointed by the weekly themes, and so I've been coming up with fantasy concepts for future "Idol" episodes. So far I've suggested Goth Night and Hair Metal Night, but this week's dream theme might be the dreamiest yet.

This week, in real life, the theme will be Elvis Night, mentored by Season 8 runner-up Adam Lambert. While the prospect of Glambert returning to the "Idol" soundstage to inject some glam and glitz into this year's lackluster season sounds like a surefire winner idea indeed, I am, admittedly, a little dejected by the material he'll be forced to work with. Sure, Adam has a somewhat Elvis-like pelvis and Presleyan lipcurl, and he bears some resemblance to The King when he goes a little crazy with the pomade...but to my knowledge he has never cited Elvis Presley as a major musical influence.

And that is why my alternate fantasy theme for this week is...David Bowie Night!

THEME: Bowie Night
I've been seriously jonesing for

Today, new wave pioneers Devo released two songs, "Fresh" and "What We Do," their first new recordings in 20 years from their long-awaited upcoming comeback album, Fresh. And the songs do indeed sound fresh, while at the same time unmistakably sounding like classic Devo.

"Fresh"(Quicktime)
"Fresh" (Windows Media)

"What We Do" (Quicktime)
"What We Do" (Windows Media)

While these cuts are guaranteed to make the album, a few other unreleased Devo recordings remain in flux. So the yellow-jumpsuited Akron eggheads are solidifying their tracklisting as only they would: with a highly de-volved scientific study. The band sent out a missive this week explaining the fans' song-selection mission, should they choose to accept it:

Friends and consumers from all walks of life,

The time has finally come.

DEVO Inc., and its musical division DEVO, are in need of your help.

In an effort to comply with the growing need for appealing sonic products in the mass market, we have officially launched the

Ryan Seacrest opened Wednesday night's "AmericanIdol" elimination show with this irritating, heart-palpitating tease:"Prepare yourself for a surprise or two. Shocking results!" What,more bagpipes? Maybe a xylophone, a triangle, a tissue paper and comb, or someother odd instrument accompaniment? Another heckler bumrushing the stage,hopefully this time with "SOY BOMB" Sharpie'd across his chest? That I couldhandle. But the possible ousting of one of my favorites? That was the sort of shocker for which I was quite ill-prepared.

Well, it turned out I was especially unprepared that this week'slast-place contestant was someone who deliveredwhat I thought was one of the best performances of this week: Michael Lynche. Hewas in the bottom three with the more deserving Aaron Kelly and Andrew Garcia--I,along with the rest of the "Idol"-viewing planet, had predicted Andrewwould be cut this week--and I was crestfallen when Ryan told Andrew and Aaron to return to the safety of their stools. Because