Blog Posts by Lyndsey Parker

As ginormous an American Idol fan as I am, I've never really cared for the hokey group-singalong numbers on the show, whenever the very different contestants are forced to perform together and subsequently drag each other down to the level of a bad Lido Deck dinner-theater act on the Good Ship Lolligag. That is why, over the course of seven AmIdol seasons, I have never once made even the slightest effort to see the Idols Live Tour when it comes to my hometown.

But when the fine folks at Sony/BMG kindly offered me two 10th-row tickets for the Idols Live 2008 concert at L.A.'s Staples Center, right across the street from the Nokia Theater where just a few weeks ago my mom and I witnessed David Cook's triumph--and my mom, a real Cougar For Cook, showed keen interest in attending---well, they made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

So LP Sr. and I went last night, and I braced myself for three hours of Sanjaya-level variety-show antics. But I'm pleased to report that the concert was not

So last night was a double-elimination episode on Nashville Star, which makes me wonder why NBC is in such a dang hurry to gallop to the finale, rather than drag out the elimination process like all other reality shows that seemingly last for 18 months. Why the rush?

Anyhoo, whatever the motivation, the first cut last night was the shallowest. Meaning it was quick (within the first three minutes of the show) and relatively painless (in the sense that it was hardly a shocker). Tommy Stanley was the first to leave last night, and like a true military man, he accepted the news with a stiff upper lip. Oh well. This Navy man tried to be all he could be, but I guess in the end all he could be just wasn't enough. It was this sailor's time to ship out, for sure.

As for the second elimination, it was a bit more of a surprise, but of course viewers had to wait about another 57 minutes to receive that news. In the interim, the safe contestants warbled one by one, starting with plus-sized

Yes, I know I shouldn't love VH1's latest sign-of-the-apocalypse celebreality show. I know that for every minute I gawp at my screen, 50 of my brain cells instantly liquefy into chum...which means by the season's end, this blog will likely be riddled with typos and monosyllabic words.

So, Flowers For Algernon-style, I must get this message out there while I can still harness the brainpower: I love I Love Money.

What's not to love, really? A game show of sorts featuring Flavor Of Love/Rock Of Love/I Love New York D-listers so D-list that even Kathy Griffin herself wouldn't want anything to do with them, I Love Money boasts all the drunken infighting antics of The Real World, icky inedible-eating grossout challenges of Fear Factor and A Shot Of Love With Tila Tequila, no-holds-barred competitive action of American Gladiators, relay-race wackiness of Celebrity Fit Club, jiggle-TV hilarity Of Battle Of The Network Stars, and greed of, well, Greed.

Oh, and did I mention it stars Flavor Of

Now, New York indie-jokesters We Are Scientists have never been the type to shy away from oddball humor. This interview, in which they don't give a single straight answer and at one point claim to have replicated all of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video scene-by-scene, is clear proof of that.

As are We Are Scientists' many actual low-on-budget, high-on-laughs music videos, which include gratuitously bloody boxing matches ("It's A Hit"), completely unerotic homoerotic group-shower scenes ("The Great Escape"), action-movie chase scenes starring furry circus bears ("Nobody Move Nobody Get Hurt"), and wild west cowboys wrangling packs of Paris Hilton-style purse dogs ("Chick Lit").

But when it comes to funny videos--especially funny videos starring dogs, come to think of it--We Are Scientists have undoubtedly outdone themselves with "After Hours." Not even another chapter of R. Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet" video saga could match the twisted love-triangle (or more like love-quadrangle)

It's 4th of July week, which means we Yanks are celebrating our independence from those evil, redcoated Brits. And holding the best celebration this week was Jay-Z, who flaunted his flag-flying American supremacy in front of an audience of thousands at last weekend's Glastonbury Festival in England.

See, Glastonbury is Britain's biggest summer rockfest, and it's usually headlined by popular limey rock bands like Coldplay, Muse, Radiohead, and Oasis. So this year, when it was announced that American rapper Jay-Z would top the Glasto bill, Oasis's own mouthy mouthpiece Noel Gallagher was none too thrilled. Noel even went so far as to publicly blame Jigga for Glastonbury 2008's unusually low ticket sales. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If you break it, people ain't gonna go," the famously cantankerous Britpopper complained to the BBC in one of his typically brazen interviews. "I'm sorry, but Jay-Z? No chance. I'm not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. No way. No. It's wrong."

Well,

This week's So You Think You Can Dance dance-off was the most action-packed in the series' history, with 14--count 'em, FOURTEEN--separate routines. Each of the seven remaining couples danced twice, which made the show twice as nice, of course.

Jessica and Will went first doing a swing routine, and once again Jessica dragged the faultless Will down, down, down. Seriously, Will might as well wear a lead ankle bracelet every time he gets on that stage, the way his partner weighs him down. Their routine was solid, sure, but Will clearlyoutshone and outdanced his weaker-link partner, like he does week after weak week. Unsurprisingly, the judges were full of praise for Will and saved their harsher critiques like "not all there" (that was from Mary) and "lazy" (from Nigel) for poor Jessica. You know, maybe it would be a blessing in disguise if Jessica and Will ended up in the bottom again, so the judges could send Jessica home and Will could get matched up with a more suitable dancemate.

Well, the festival season is officially underway now. Over the next new months, rock fans with sufficient ambition and/or frequent flier miles can embark on a never-ending festival bender that includes the Pitchfork Festival (Chicago, July 18-20), Hardfest (Los Angeles, July 19), Download Festival (Los Angeles, July 20), Lollapalooza (Chicago, August 1-3), All Points West (New Jersey, August 8-10), the Virgin Mobile Festival (Baltimore, August 9-10), Bumbershoot (Seattle, August 30-September 1), All Tomorrow's Parties (New York, September 19-20), the Street Scene (San Diego, September 19-20), Austin City Limits (Austin, of course, September 26-28), the Voodoo Music Experience (New Orleans, October 24-26), the Warped Tour, Ozzfest...

...and that's just the big U.S. festivals, for starters. Truly ambitious festival regulars willing to brave international airlines' ever-lengthening baggage check-in lines (along with festivals' ever-lengthening porta-potty lines) can also make a

Back on the premiere episode of this year's Nashville Star, the judges got their one shot of the season to eliminate the weak-link contestant of their choice. They narrowed it down to hokey but likable rodeo cowboy Charley Jenkins and Marty-Feldman-eyed pageant girl Alyson Gilbert. And then--much to the dismay and confusion of many viewers--they opted to send Charley home.

Well, last night those dismayed and confused viewers got the chance to avenge Charley, and they finally gave Alyson the (cowboy) boot.

It seems like the judges agreed with this long-overdue ousting: Last night, after Alyson oversang and jazz-handed her way through an unnecessarily fussy and showboaty rendition of Trisha Yearwood's "She's In Love With The Boy," Jewel sternly told her, "Your eyeballs are back!" (scolding Alyson's uncontrollable tendency to bug her eyes out like a cracked-out Looney Tunes character) and remarked, "I need you to go away for a while and find some soul."

Yikes. Even John Rich isn't