Blog Posts by Lyndsey Parker

This week American Idol--along with Dancing With The Stars and Flavor Of Love 3--wraps up its season, leaving an aching void in our hearts and TiVo schedules that will only temporarily be filled by So You Think You Can Dance. But fear not, reality addicts: VH1's just-announced addition to its fall programming schedule will probably tide us all over until AmIdol season 8 kicks off.

Yes, it's been confirmed that Charm School will return to VH1 for a second season, only instead of Mo'Nique mentoring wayward Flavor Of Love castoffs, season 2 will feature the always-charming Sharon Osbourne retraining and refining the uncouth Rock Of Love stripper skanks to become (and I quote) "sophisticated rock 'n' roll ladies."

According to a VH1 press release, Ozzy's missus will help Bret Michaels' boozy rejects "learn and grow in areas of etiquette, fashion, manners, and moderation" and "will attempt to strip the girls of their former rebellious and wild ways."

Considering the job Sharon's done with

About six years ago, my mom phoned me, spasticaly sputtering, barely able to spit her words out because she was laughing so hard. She'd just seen some tone-deaf wackjob with delusions of grandeur get flat-out insulted by some surly flattopped Brit, on some hilarious new talent show called American Idol. She ordered me to turn on Fox immediately, I did as I was told (she's my mother, after all)...and my life hasn't been the same since.

I'm not sure if I should thank her or scorn her for turning me on to this TV obsession. Probably the former. So I've thanked her over the years by taking her to various Idol events, like last year's Jordin-vs.-Blake finale (read blog here) and Yahoo!'s Nissan Live Sets show with Kelly Clarkson (see blog). And tonight I escorted my mom--who, like me, is a proud member of the Team Cook cheerleading squad--to the season 7 David-vs.-David showdown at L.A.'s Nokia Theater.

Here's me and my mom, Leslie Parker (aka "LP Sr."), in front of the Nokia right after we

I know I took my potshots at McDreamy-lookalike top 24 Idol contender Luke Menard earlier this season--particularly when he got eliminated after his Wham-y of a "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" performance during '80s Week.

But the breaking news of his cancer today put everything in perspective. Some things are obviously more important than a reality-TV talent competition.

Yes, CBS News has confirmed that 29-year-old Luke has Hodgkin lymphoma, according to a rep for his a cappella ensemble Chapter 6, Jane Victor.

"Luke had a lingering cough and was having trouble breathing deeply, so he went to the doctor to have it checked out," Victor told CBS. "The suspicion was walking pneumonia. But after a chest X-ray, doctors saw a mass and did more testing, which is what led to the stage II Hodgkin diagnosis."

Luckily, this disease has one of the highest success rates of treatment for any type of cancer. "[He's] been told that it's treatable and manageable. Luke is currently in Los Angeles and

With all the David-vs.-David fuss going on right now, it's easy to forget all about Danny Noriega.

Well, I never forgot about him. I've seriously missed him ever since he narrowly escaped making the top 12; AmIdol just hasn't been nearly as interesting or entertaining without his haughty headsnaps and textese talk.

Well, Danny reared his perfectly, asymmetrically coiffed head on the TV Guide Channel's Idol Chat last night, and of course he was as absolutely fabulous as ever. Watching his outrageous interview, I could only daydream about how much more exciting this week could've been if Danny had made it to the finale. Simon would have been even more bug-eyed and tongue-tied than he was during Fantasia's number last week!

Check out Danny's awesomely gossip-girly chat with Rosanna and Kimberly here (someone WAS likin' it, and that someone was ME!):

You know, that's pretty uncool that Danny didn't get an invite to the finale. Maybe the Idol producers are afraid he'd upstage the two

In a reality-TV week dominated by the big American Idol and Dancing With The Stars finales, it's easy to forget that the Flavor Of Love 3 finale took place this week as well. Such an oversight is especially understandable considering that FOL stopped being interesting once New York shacked up with Tailor Made and stopped pursuing Flav.

But for those viewers still keeping track of Flavor's lovelife, this week everyone's favorite clock-slinging, Viking-horned bachelor chose Thing 2, the gap-toothed identical twin he eliminated two weeks ago. Flav later reconsidered Thing 2's ousting, flew her out to France last week, and has now officially made her his third FOL boo.

Well, the third time just might be the charm for Flav. Thing 2 seems like a stand-up girl, and Flav must have a genuine connection with her to choose her even after she turned down a "nightcap" with him right before the final elimination. Plus, Flav showed a real commitment to his new lady by somehow finding her a custom

You know, I don't think I've ever been so conflicted, so existentially torn, about an American Idol finale. Seriously, I feel like I'm in the middle of some sort of odd reality-TV love triangle, forced to choose between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now. Because my heart is rooting for one man, yet my brain tells me to vote for the other. So, should I follow my heart or my head when making my official pick for the season 7 winner? I just don't know...

See, my heart fully belongs to David Cook. I've been Team Cook almost since day one; conversely, I have never, EVER understood all the rammed-down-the-throat hype surrounding David Archuleta (a boy who can muck up his lyrics repeatedly, sap all the soul out of a Chris Brown song, and sing an entire season's worth of material with his eyes wide shut, and yet somehow never once end up in the bottom three).

David Cook is the contestant for whom I might actually fork over my hard-earned Yahoo! paycheck to download an album or watch in concert.

In my last American Idol blog, I lavished praise on the fierce and fearsome elimination-night performance by season 3 Idol winner Fantasia Barrino.

Well, after browsing through the comments on that blog, it seems like a LOT of readers didn't agree with me. Some people even thought that was my trademark sarcasm at work. But I wasn't joking, dear readers. I love me some Fantasia. And I loved that controversial performance.

Allow me to explain.

On Wednesday night, a newly fuchsia-haired Fantasia belted out a song called "Bore Me." Well, she didn't bore me, that's for sure. There have been plenty of moments on American Idol this season that have bored me, but the three minutes Fantasia was rocking the stage (and doing the unthinkable: rendering Simon Cowell speechless) certainly were not among them.

Nope, "boring" is not an adjective that will probably ever be used to describe Fantasia, at least not by me. Fanny shook her fanny (or, to quote one of her song titles, her "Baby Makin'

Man, it's been a rough couple of years for Jessica Simpson. First she split from her husband and Newlyweds costar, Nick Lachey--who wasted no time rebounding into the arms of Vanessa Minnillo and releasing a breakup-themed solo album that easily outsold Jessica's post-divorce flop, A Public Affair. Then she split from her own rebound beau, John Mayer (who's reportedly since taken up with a new "Friend," Jennifer Aniston), and then when she hooked up with football star Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys, she was accused of cursing the Cowboys games she attended. And now it seems Jessica is the one who's truly cursed, as Us Weekly and Access Hollywood are both reporting that her public affair with Tony has come to an end.

This lovelife snafu could not have come at a worse time for Jessica, as it coincides with the rumored May 17 wedding of her little sister Ashlee to Fall Out Boy rocker Pete Wentz. Ashlee's own new album, Bittersweet World, may have been an even bigger sales failure than