Hello, readers! Welcome to this, the 900th Framed ever written! What a milestone!
To help us celebrate, we called our good friend Mike Love of the Beach Boys, the amazingly talented Southern Californian rock group who've scored dozens of hits over the years.
"Mike," we said. "Help us out here. We've become the talk of the internet and need to bring in some heavy duty talent for our important 900th blog. What can you, as the leader of America's greatest rock band, do to help us?"
"Framed, I'm glad you called!" Mike enthused. (Mike is impossibly generous and talented, as a simple web search will attest. "Like all people, I read you every week and marvel at your insight, your wit, and--can I be candid?--your humanity. Your cheerfulness in carrying all the Y! Music blogs, week in, week out...doing all the heavy lifting...well, it's an inspiration is what it is."
"You are too kind, our friend."
"Here's what I see," he continued. "I see captions to the greatest Beach Boys song of them all. I see linking the world's greatest captions to what very well may be the world's greatest song!"
"You don't mean...?" The possibilities swirled. "Sloop John B?" "God Only Knows?" "Heroes & Villains?"
"That's right! I want you to write captions to 1995's 'Summer Of Love,' the Baywatch version! It's another great Beach Boys hit--like 'Kokomo!'--that Brian Wilson didn't write!"
Um.
OK.
Let's do captions.
1 -- "Ahoy! This very special Baywatch features music by 'the Beach Boys.' If you catch my quotation marks."
2 -- In a perfect world, of course, Framed wouldn't even have to write captions!
3 -- After Dan and Joey found his stash, it was all downhill for Uncle Jessie.
4 -- "Quick, girls! A substantive discussion of Elena Kagan's judicial qualifications is taking place on this very beach!"
5 -- "Everyone ready to disgrace an iconic Beach Boys picture?"
6 -- "I may not be able to save Aquaman, but I certainly know what time it is."
7 -- They're almost indescribably huge, and quite beautiful. The oceans of the Earth, we mean!
8 -- "Don't shoot! I surrender! Is 'writing mundane lyrics that go beyond the trivial and into the disgraceful' a state charge, or a federal charge?"
9 -- "I wonder why those very, very old people are pretending they're a band?"
10 -- "OK, babe, we're here. Now, let's enjoy us some recycled chord changes and tragically unhip doo-wop singing!"
11 -- "Well, time to get really drunk!"
12 -- When it comes to saving lives, the girl/boy/girl/boy arrangement has proven to work best!