Until this week, we didn't know that Forbes had a list of the 100 Most Powerful and Influential musicians in the world. But it does, and it's topped by this week's guest video artist, the inimitable Beyonce, whose list of other accolades is almost laughably long. Bonus: she and hubby Jay-Z are also Hollywood's Top Earning Couple, with an annual income of $162 million between 'em.
It almost makes you wonder if Mrs. Framed is pulling her weight, huh?
This week's vid is "Party," the brand-new single from the singer's fourth studio album, 4. We'd analyze it, but — to be honest — we have to wash our hair right now, this very instant. If you're interested, Solange Knowles, Beyonce's younger sister, and Kelly Rowland, her former Destiny's Child bandmate, have cameos in the thing.
Enjoy the video and, more importantly, the wry, incisive captions that accompany our still frames from it. We'll be right back here next week, as always, living to serve in our own humble way.
1 — Like all the contestants on Dog X Factor, Rexy wanted to show America who he was, as a dog.
2 — Flame-O decided to patrol the blog to guard against flawed, ridiculous, Johnny-come-lately characters!
3 — "I can not only bring home the bacon and cook it up in a pan, I can actually the clone the pig and name it Gaga."
4 — "Soon, all the humans will likewise pledge fealty to Hose-O," vowed the malevolent sentient hose.
5 — Jeez. These days, just anybody can open that interdimensional portal to Bubbylonia!
6 — "Curse you, Ant Cam!"
7 — The superstar was pleased to discover that the Motel 6 in Peru, Indiana, even had a pool!
8 — "Yo, God! Over here! Listen, stop turning our mountain of debt into delightful, cheese-flavored snacks! You heard of obesity, right?"
9 — Just then, Histah the snake realized that if he could form and articulate thoughts, this picture might've had a helluva caption.
10 — "Hey, Boehner! Filibuster this!" cried the drunken chief executive.
11 — "Bring in the wide-angle lens! No, no — even wider!"
12 — "Where are the scientists? It could be even sillier!"