Welcome to Framed, the blog where the good times roll, week-in and week-out! And great news, readers: we've got Britney Spears' new video, "Criminal," this week, so tell everyone that Y! Music is the place to be!
Britney's no stranger to our blog; we've featured her videos three or four times previously, but — this time — the video actually has a plot! In a way!
The vid features Brit and her former manager/current boyfriend, Jason Trawick, who are, to make this short, criminals who cold-bloodedly rob people! It's kind of like Herman Cain's tax plan, only with guns! Between all the sex and violence, you almost forget that the whole thing is the work of a corporation that's lost its grip on a marketplace it once owned, and simply enjoy it!
We cordially invite you to watch the video and then enjoy the captions we've written. As always, the views expressed do not reflect those of Yahoo!, Yahoo! Music, Yahoo, the soft drink, or reality itself.
1 — It's true! Britney's back!
2 — "And I also invited Kevin Federline, for kicks."
3 — "I'll be darned! A teeny, tattooed hash mark for each failed marriage!"
4 — Well, it's her pinkie, so it's sort of ladylike!
5 — "Hell, no wonder I never see you and Cleavage Girl in the same place."
6 — "Not me! I thought you approved the script!"
7 — DiMartino's dodgeball career ended rather abruptly!
8 — "Framed: The Coffee Table Book? All of them?"
9 — "I'd better get a can of this vague, fake product, too! I'm almost out!"
10 — "And, in other news, Britney Spears has finally done something interesting."
11 — The cabbies' union is taking a hard line on fare-skipping!
12 — Britney likes our gratuitous cruelty the best!