Framed

Cake, Framed

With mild apologies to our regular readers, it's time -- once again! -- to introduce Framed to any newbies who may have come by this week.

Why do we do this every now and again?  Is it because we're unbelievably sensitive to the needs of others?

Or is it because we like to drink to excess and shamelessly pad our word count?

Yes!  It is!

It so is!

Ahem.  Framed is a light-hearted blog that features a different music video every week.  We go through the video and freeze interesting frames... and then we write captions for those frames.  To put it simply, we make stuff up; usually, stuff we wish the people in the picture were saying.

Some would say our captions are droll, ironic and quite good.  Others would describe them as esoteric, petty, and the sort of self-indulgent crap that turns everybody off.

And we're OK with that!  We're not the boss of you!  Or anyone else!

This week's video is a funny one in its own right: it's Cake's "Love You Madly."  The whole thing revolves around an Iron Chef-type shootout between drummer Pete McNeal and horn player Vince DiFiori, complete with celebrity judges and a theme ingredient, pumpkin.  It's a hoot and a holler, no kidding.  We wish other artists put as much thought into their videos as Cake has here.

Anyway, new readers, please enjoy our blog and feel free to post your thoughts below.  Don't worry about what our regular readers post -- we love 'em all, and God bless 'em -- but be aware that they've constructed a weird, internally consistent world that may seem impenetrable at first... sort of like Framed itself, actually... yet is, ultimately. quite amusing!

We'll be back next week with an exciting video premiere, and way less wordy!

1 --  Oh, no!  Pumpkinhead is back! And he's brought two of his cabal:  Gordy (L) and Gordy (R)!

2 -- "We thought you were defeated years ago, in this very blog!  But you win, pumpkins!  I have been authorized to surrender to you on behalf of all ambulant life."

3 --  "Of course I'll do your bidding, sir!  'Make a previously somewhat-accessible blog utterly mysterious to everyone reading it?'  Right away, sir!"

4 -- "Ha!  I tricked you... with the help of Gummo, Gunno, Wall Girl, and Dealie Crankerson himself!  Thank you, Framed's continuing characters!  Now pay for your sins, vegetable!"

5 --  "Great Scott!  Pumpkinhead's brains would probably taste good were they buttered, salted, and cooked at 300° F for 45 minutes!  Who'd've guessed?"

6 --  "If I clean up these deceased villains and make some random comment, Framed may well meet half its caption quota right now!  A sweet deal!"

7 -- "Well, I hope I, at least, taste good.   Because, seriously, suffocating on the deck of a boat as my fellows flailed about me was sort of a bring-me-down."

8 -- "Surely there's a joke in this somewhere."

9 -- "A rival breakfast food called Eggo's?  Unthinkable!"

10 --  "I'm serious... a Quadrophenia tour!"

11 --  "You want us to actually eat Cake??"

12 --  "I told you there'd be a pants-dropping!  Talk about a no-brainer!"

News for You

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    BERLIN (Reuters) - Germans lamented their unexpectedly poor showing at the Eurovision Song Contest, blaming Chancellor Angela Merkel's tough stance in the euro zone crisis for their failure to win any points from 34 of the 39 countries voting. Denmark's Emmelie de Forest won the event, watched by around 125 million people across Europe, with 281 points while German act Cascada was 21st out of 26 countries, getting just 18 points from Austria, Israel, Spain, Albania and Switzerland. ...

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    LAS VEGAS (AP) — The latest high-stakes court hearing for O.J. Simpson in the glitzy capital of big gambles has come to a close with the former football star's defense team feeling confident that their client is closer to getting out of prison.

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    MONACO (AP) — The glittering star power of Cannes migrated up the coast to Monaco for front-row seats at Dior's colorful, sexy cruise fashion show.

  • 'Trek' does $70.6M but falls short of studio hopes

    LOS ANGELES (AP) — "Star Trek: Into Darkness" has warped its way to a $70.6 million domestic launch from Friday to Sunday, though it's not setting any light-speed records with a debut that's lower than the studio's expectations.

  • 'Star Trek' sequel tops weekend box office in North America

    By Lisa Richwine and Andrea Burzynski (Reuters) - "Star Trek Into Darkness," the newest installment in the classic intergalactic franchise, blasted to the top of movie box office charts with $70.6 million in weekend ticket sales at theaters in the United States and Canada. The new 3D voyage for Captain Kirk and the crew of the Starship Enterprise knocked mighty "Iron Man 3" into second place, while the Marvel superhero sequel grabbed $35.2 million. Jazz Age drama "The Great Gatsby" finished third with $23.4 million, according to studio estimates. ...

  • Denmark's de Forest wins Eurovision song contest

    MALMO, Sweden (AP) — Denmark's Emmelie de Forest has won this year's Eurovision Song Contest with her ethno-inspired flute and drum tune "Only Teardrops," despite tough competition from spectacular stage shows by performers from Azerbaijan and Ukraine.