Like everyone, Framed was riveted when it was revealed last week that country music star Chely Wright was a lesbian. "By gosh," we thought, "this gives us the chance to make tawdry double entendres and, in general, lower the value of the Framed reading experience. Which, come to think of it, is hard to do."
But then we thought again.
"What if we simply ignored this lesbian-ness?" we thought. "Wouldn't our readers--intelligent and good-looking, the lot of 'em--applaud us for taking the high road? Might we not be nominated for some sort of 'blog award,' which we probably richly deserve, anyway? Wouldn't every single reader post their abject thanks, especially given today's divisive culture?"
Yes, they would, we concluded. And that's why we're bringing you Chely Wright's big hit, "Single White Female," with no off-color remarks at all. We're simply that good. Thank you for reading.
1 -- "Is that Y! Music editor Dave DiMartino in a tutu? Or is that just a frilly skirt?"
2 -- "Truffles! I smell 'em!"
3 -- The world in which Andy Dick is a girl is not a comfortable world.
4 -- "Why, if this story is credible, the President is an evil wizard who was born in Timbuktu and plans on partitioning Louisiana into zones of atheism. You gotta love him!"
5 -- "Nothing to see here, readers; please, move along and continue to enjoy Framed."
6 -- "I see that British Petroleum has quite a need for oil chemists, spill engineers, and scapegoats. Well, no need to regulate industry now."
7 -- "Is it likely that, in some parallel universe, I'm a svelte blonde siren who's tiring of all this male attention? Yes. Clearly, yes."
8-- "Pardon me, sir. Would you mind if I displayed my breasts prominently?"
9-- "A non-sequitur caption with no connection to this picture, or anything else? Unthinkable!"
10 -- "Hmm. I wonder why I never see her and Wall Girl together."
11 -- "You've read all of Encyclopedia Brown's adventures, then?"
12 -- "Excuse me, friend. Can I tell you the truth about Armageddon?"