We were having our usual day, examining hundreds of music videos minutely, not even stopping to eat, when we had an idea: What if we featured a music video that showed people actually performing music? No script! No actors! No fancy sets! It was the most radical idea ever! Excited, we ran it past Toy-Bot, The Good Cat, but--frankly--he seemed indifferent to the whole idea. Then again, his people, the cats, aren't a musical race. But ours is!
We considered the consequences. Would Framed's readers embrace the notion that human beings sometimes make the music that makes music videos possible? Would our captions be as razor-sharp as ever? And what about Gummo, America's beloved Sentient Bubble?
Damn the consequences, we said! This is a nifty idea! We'll simply pick a video that shows real musicians playing a real song in front of appreciative real people and we'll do the best we can! It's that can-do attitude that's made America great, after all!
It's our pleasure, therefore, to present Eric Clapton this week, performing one of his great signature songs, "Cocaine." Although the song was written by J.J. Cale (who also wrote "After Midnight"), Clapton's made it his own over the years. You're sure to enjoy Clapton and his band's live version of this classic rocker.
Parents are forewarned that, given the nature of the song, many of this week's captions deal with substance abuse, and you may want to have the kids skip Framed this week. Tell them we'll back next week with the light-spirited, harmless joshing that's made us friends from Miami to Honolulu!
1 -- With Clapton's annihilation by death-ray, no one could stop the aliens!
2 -- "Yay! We won the war on drugs! That was a trillion dollars well-spent!"
3 -- "Every night, of course, we like to do 'Cocaine.'"
4 -- "I'll just enjoy lots more of this perfectly legal substance, and then I'll drive home."
5 -- "Later on, as a salute to Lou Reed, we'll enjoy doing 'Heroin.'"
6 -- "Isn't it great that, despite the erosion of America's spiritual foundation, we can all enjoy a song about hard drugs?!"
7 -- "I just don't see how this device defeated the Solar Federation, yet I have it on the highest authority that it did."
8 -- "Hey, boss, you dropped a folded-up white packet here. You want I should get?"
9 -- "Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just coked-up out of your mind? I mean, happy to see me."
10 -- Fans were shocked when Randy Jackson insisted Clapton was pitchy.
11 -- "Hold on a sec. If evolution is true, it implies the universe is unfairly random, when, in fact, everything is perfect."
12 -- "How on Earth can that ant move that big rubber tree plant? Oh, yeah, the packet."