You know who makes less than $100 million a year? Interim Yahoo! CEO Tim Morse. Detroit Tigers' pitcher and almost-certain American League MVP Justin Verlander. Martin Scorsese. Michael Jordan. Barack Obama. The estate of John Lennon. The estate of Elvis Presley.
You know who makes more than $100 million a year?
The Catholic Church. Bill Gates. George Lucas. Jimmy Buffett.
Yes, Jimmy Buffett, the fellow who heads up the Coral Reefer Band. The slacker who brought us "Cheeseburger In Paradise" and "Margaritaville." Jimmy Buffett the best-selling writer. That Jimmy Buffett,
So, just in case our audience is loaded with Parrotheads, this week's video is Jimmy's much-beloved "Fruitcakes," a 1994 song/album that hit #5 on the U.S. Billboard chart. The video is pretty much what you'd expect: insanely happy beach partiers being insanely happy, dancing about with merry abandon. None of it makes much sense, but we imagine Jimmy's fans don't really care about that.
Let's take a look at their strange and puzzling world and also enjoy the droll, provocative captions we've very thoughtfully provided.
1 - Stunningly high octane is the new grade of fuel everybody's talkin' 'bout!
2 - "Now that I've filled up with stoctane I can relax, knowing my mileage will be supernatural!
3 - Yeah, skating is pretty much the best.
4 - Dogmatically, Banana Queen Chiquita insisted that her people have to ripen in a certain way.
5 - "I'm just amazed at the sheer size of Uranus!"
6 - "OK! And how many of you read blogs that have actually declared themselves pointless?"
7 - "We'd be glad to rejoice and bring in the sheaves if you'd kindly explain just what in the hell they are."
8 - "And also, God, make this caption, like, actually funny, OK?"
9 - "Now that it's 1950, anything seems possible!"
10 - "Think about it: one of us invented Margaritaville and one of didn't. So who's gettin' who a beer?"
11 - "Dude, if that lasts more than four hours, consult your physician. You also might want to think about pants."
12 - The invasion of the fruitcake people might've gone better if they could, like... you know... see.