Hello, readers, and welcome back to Framed, the world's longest-lived and best-loved funny-captions-to-music-videos resource. Whereas other music video critics offer you "context," history" and "opinion," Framed offers really funny, usually pointless, made-up stuff.
It's certainly great to be an American!
This week's video is Ke$ha's uber-popular "TiK ToK," a 2009 song that's hit #1 in five countries and set a weekly download record for female artists. Ke$ha, who dresses as if she was raised in a barn, which she sort of was (the San Fernando Valley), has been called "the degenerate Hannah Montana." Not that it matters: even the venerable Billboard praised the song for "singing teasingly about excess pleasures, from drinking to men."
The video is a bit of a mess, in a good way, as it follows the party-happy singer through a strange day in SoCal. We think you'll like it, and value your opinion. Ke$ha: best new star yet, or not?
1 -- Ke$ha's interest in exactly how the water "magically appeared" was now pathological.
2 -- "Jeez. It really is dirty."
3 -- "French toast again? I should just kill her."
4 -- LSD and Ke$ha have redefined synergy!
5 -- "Biking is healthy and environmentally friendly, girls. Plus, boys can't touch your junk."
6-- "You mean that, before this, corporations didn't have the right to simply purchase elections?"
7 -- "Holy cow! You really can vibrate at super speed!"
8 -- "I must leave you now, balloons! And though my journey to around the corner promises to be harrowing, I shall return with even more childish playthings! I promise!"
9-- "Sorry, lady, but we clocked you at embarrassingly stupid."
10 -- "Let's see. Executive. Legislative. Judicial. Southern. Obstructionist. Hate-filled. Yep, that's all of the branches."
11 -- Any way you slice it, being killed by little flying rectangles is a cruel way to go.
12 -- "And there are funny captions to the pictures! But, strangely enough, only good-looking people can appreciate them!"