A confession, readers: when Michael Jackson died, we had no intention of "going to town" on his videos. Like many, we liked Mike. He was a strange character and, in many ways, a troubled guy, but certainly extremely talented. We saluted his many victories, threw up that McCartney/Jackson video, and figured that was that.
But no. The numbers started coming in, and they were astonishing. Michael's albums were dominating the Top 10. Michael's videos, ditto. It turns out people freaking loved Michael Jackson...his songs, his videos, everything. As Y! Music's own Paul Grein reported in Chart Watch: "At the peak of his posthumous sales, Jackson had seven of the week's 20 best-selling albums and nine of the week's 30 best-sellers."
We thought about it for awhile, then decided we'd be foolish to not feature his videos here in Framed. After all, we're very likely the internet's best-loved music video resource, and absolutely the internet's best-loved funny-captions-to-music-video resource. Don't we have an obligation to be in synch with the public's mood?
We decided we did. That's why this week's video is Michael's "Black or White," off the Bad album. Next week's video will be a zesty, brand new offering from America's greatest reunited band, but--for this week--let's enjoy Michael Jackson's amazing 11-minute-long spectacular!
1-- "Sadly, I've failed to discover a space weapon powerful enough to defeat the mighty Pumpkinhead," mused Gummo, The Sentient Bubble. "Yet I must return to Earth in haste to investigate these rumors of a superstar in the company of Bubbles."
2 -- God's many failures--for example, Canadian football--continue to vex the human race.
3 -- Few realize that there's also a Negro Bobblehead League.
4 -- "Wha...?!! Father several of your children in the future?!!"
5 -- Slash boldly decided his next quest would be for the fabled Fountain of Taste!
6 -- "What the hell are those ants doing over there? That's a goddam rubber tree plant."
7 -- "Health care! Free! Umgawa!"
8 -- "Hear me, spirits! My grandfather, like his grandfather before him, was really, really bad!"
9 -- "Slow down, Dobbin! The Ann Coulter Lookalike Contest is an all-day event!"
10 -- "A Canadian Y! Music?!! And bereft of Framed?!!!"
11 -- "Da! We make the big circle and then we take the anti-missile system out Poland! Ha ha ha!"
12 -- By the time science discovered that kids were getting bigger because of fast foods...well, it was simply too late.