Justin Bieber? Nope, but soon! Always soon with that guy.
Oh, here's the list. Wow, time for hip-hop. Again? Guess so. OK, good deal. Now let's bounce around the ping pong balls with the names of every credible hip-hop artist in existence. Where the heck did we get all these ping pong balls, anyway? Can you just buy them somewhere?
And how can we have all these ping pong balls and not remember where we got them? That's like we're going crazy or something.
And ... the winner is ... Nelly! OK, that's good. All of his albums have gone Top 10. He's won Grammys. He's solid. Plus he's got that new song, "Hey Porsche."
He'll probably inspire some good captions, too. How the heck would we make a living if we couldn't write captions? We'd have to dig ditches or something, probably. That'd be a drag.
Now if we just didn't have to write that darned intro.
1 -- "One sec, one sec. I'm trying to remember the last time this blog featured a black man."
2 -- "So being a mechanic is really kind of OK, I guess."
3 -- A rare cameo appearance by Sparks will delight... huh? ... what's that?
4 -- "Despite all odds, it looks like the Roadrunner's won again!"
5-- "Hang on! I'm just summoning a mental image of a website that documents everything on American Idol. To the point where people want to kill themselves."
6 -- Was the road on crack? Or... more ominously... vice versa?
7 -- "I heard that, if you touch the top of the frame, an angel gets his wings."
8 -- "Boy, if I were transparent to visible light, I could get it done!"
9 -- "Yeah, I'm pretty sure U2's around here somewhere."
10 -- Nelly likes having his fans in his videos.
11 -- "Damn, I'm tired!"
12 -- "Why, if these calculations are correct, I'm impossibly rich and can now make videos that have no point at all!"
- Arts & Entertainment