The Annies consist of Ashley Monroe, Angaleena Presley, and Miranda Lambert, who are from (respectively) East Tennessee, Eastern Kentucky, and East Texas. We're not, but sharp-eyed readers may be seeing a trend here. And their fathers all mined for coal , possibly believing climate change to be a myth.
Anyway, the ladies found each other and decided to form a band. They were going to call themselves the Calamity Janes, but a stripper already had that name. Incredibly enough, their first live performance ever was on national TV, on the Academy of Country Music’s "Girls Night Out Special" in 2011. They played their hit tune, "Hell on Heels," and the rest, as they say, is history.
To quote from their bio: " The Pistol Annies’ performance that night of their original song, 'Hell on Heels,' hit the proverbial bull’s eye."
They'd been aiming for the actual bull's eye, of course, but what the hell. Proverbial's good, too.
Our video this week is "Hush Hush," in which the Annies take us to a Southern church potluck dinner. It's all in good fun and our captions -- if we may say so -- are flat-out terrific. It's kind of scary, but we may actually be getting better.
Enjoy the Pistol Annies and our captions, and be right back here next week, when we pretty much do the same thing again.
1 -- "What the... ? Satan? ... thou actually did get behind me?"
2 -- "Shh, Timmy! If you pee in your pants, you go to hell forever. Because God loves you."
3 -- Only a few picnic side dishes simply reject Jesus.
4 -- "Mares and does eat oats? Well, what about little lambs, then?"
5 -- "Sacre bleu, mama! Les Américains mangent rien que le gras!"
6 -- "By God, I'll understand this blog some day."
7 -- They prayed that God would make their band famous, and then, x-ray vision!
8 -- "Our musical form has become valueless commercial pap. Pass it on."
9 -- Not only can white people not dance, nobody can dance!
10 -- We weren't kidding, readers!
11 -- "I know what you're thinking, punk. 'Is that chicken leg loaded?'"
12-- "By God, I'll understand this blog some day."
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- Miranda Lambert