Know who thinks 'The Year of the Woman' is every year? My mom! And I'm inclined to agree with her. But the music business isn't always so caring. It's been promoting dudes since before I can remember. Then when rock 'n' roll got big, they had the dudes wear long hair just so the women wouldn't take charge. Paranoid thinking or dead accurate? You decide!
Anyhow, I took a gander at the fine, fine acts that were making music and money this year and I wrote them down on a piece of paper and put them in an order that I liked. I even threw in an old person so I wouldn't lose my extremely valuable and loyal Medicare demographic. Up With AARP!
One thing you must admit about this list, it sure is pretty!
24) Justin Bieber: Along with fame comes the loonies. My memory's a little foggy, but I'm thinking maybe I'm having his child. And I will name him Heineken. Or Kahlua if it's a girl.
22) U2: What the hell are these guys doing here? Who knows? They win a Grammy every year without putting out a new record, so of course I'm going to mention them. Look for my new book, My Life With Bono.
20) David Guetta: Is there a hit record that comes out these days that doesn't have David Guetta's name on it somewhere? Used to be kids went to Chicago, so they could put "recorded by Steve Albini" on the CD. These days, kids are into money! Because you can't spend coolness.
18) Jay-Z: Watching that damn throne with Kanye, Jay-Z just keeps racking up hit after hit and money on top of money and there's not a thing we can do about it. We can protest the top 1% and even the top 0001%, but in the end we're taking their dogs for walks! Smelly dog.
16) Christina Perri: After a hit with (Playing With the) "Jar of Hearts," Perri came back with a full album called lovestrong. Though the album got mixed reviews, that's something more sales can correct. Good luck, Christina!
14) Pitbull: The one thing I've come to love about hip-hop is how everybody's featuring somebody. It's gotten to the point where I don't know if a record is by an artist or just featuring them. But "International Love" is said to be by Pitbull, featuring Chris Brown. With a name like Pitbull, you figure Brown ain't pulling no crap.
12) Wiz Khalifa: I've admired Wiz Khalifa ever since I found out that we both loved the same wonderful game show, Deal or No Deal. In 2009, he named his second album just that. His latest album, Rolling Papers, is a delightful homage to his days as a paperboy. One magazine reviewer called his lyrics boring, but that writer probably isn't alive anymore, so his opinion doesn't count. Me? I love Wiz!
10) Pink: It always tickles my heart when I see a performer embrace their softer side and work on a 3-D computer animated family film like Happy Feet Two. I always knew Pink wanted to be a penguin. Given the chance, wouldn't you?
As someone who can't stop playing Susan Boyle's latest album Someone To Watch Over Me, I was hearted to realize that she would be bringing Martin Gore's "Enjoy the Silence" to a new audience that likely had never listened much, if ever, to Depeche Mode. Nothing makes me happier when I water my plants than to know they're getting beautiful music to grow by.
8) Jackie Evancho: She's just so cute, you want to pinch her cheeks. At 11 years old, she's quite the classical crossover artist. Most people have to live a bit until they can crossover to anything. At 11, I thought I'd conquered the world by striking out seven and only giving up 17 runs in Little League. I'd say this young lady is going places, but she's already gone there!
6) Ke$ha: Ke$ha is the anti-diva, the woman who doesn't care what you think as long as you pay your money. The little girls don't know what the boys understand. Ke$ha knows that there are still plenty of rock 'n' roll fans who are feeling a little left out these days. Well, they're going to have a hard time keeping them down on the farm after her 2011Get Sleazy tour.
4) Rihanna: Having just released Talk That Talk, a tribute to the legendary British group Talk Talk, Rihanna has set herself up for a monster 2012 while still qualifying as a mover and shaker in 2011. Now that's what I call thinking. The track "Red Lipstick" includes snatches of Metallica's "Wherever I May Roam," instantly making it the best thing Metallica did in 2011.
2) Lady Gaga: Topping the Forbes list as the "Top-Earning Woman" in a list of "Top Earning Women In Music in 2011," Lady Gaga is now an artist all true capitalists must love, netting some $90 million this year, which is roughly $85 million more than some Y! Music bloggers.
- Arts & Entertainment/Media/Music
- Arts & Entertainment
- Kanye West
- Britney Spears