Well, these aren't really the most "musical" events. But these are events involving people working in the music industry. Did I mention I had brain surgery in July? Let's just be glad this year is over and that we get another year to do it right. That is, until 2012, when the world will--once again--end.
I am psyched!
Ron Asheton: Beginning a trend that would include Lux Interior, Willy DeVille, Les Paul, Jay Bennett, Jim Dickinson, Jim Carroll, Ellie Greenwich, Sky Saxon, John Martyn...the list went on longer than you'd like and so few were of an age where you might expect it.
24) President Barack Obama's Inaugural Ball And The "We Are One" Celebration: Rock music back in Washington ! U2, Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Mellencamp and Shakira at the Lincoln Memorial and Beyonce singing a little "At Last" for the First Couple at the Inaugural Ball. What could go wrong?
Etta James Slams Beyonce: Oh boy. Beyonce played Etta James in the movie Cadillac Records and then performed "At Last," a tune often associated with James, for President Obama. So, James threatened Beyonce with a butt-whipping and pointed out Obama's big ears. I wouldn't want to be Ms. James' waiter.
22) Aretha Franklin's Hat: Aretha performs "My Country 'Tis Of Thee" and all anyone can talk about is her hat.
Kanye West A Jerk: With the President jumping into music criticism, you'd think the rest of us could get a raise!
20) Noel Gallagher Quits Oasis: I'm assuming 2010 will include the headline: Noel Gallagher Rejoins Oasis. But I'm either a cynic or an optimist. Sometimes I can't tell.
Clay Aiken Dropped By His Record Label: In what's become an American Idol tradition, Clay Aiken was dropped by his record label, putting him in the company of Ruben Studdard, Katharine McPhee, Bo Bice and the rest. Nice to see the music industry running so smoothly and efficiently and for the long term.
18) Madonna Attempts To Adopt A Second Child And Finally Does: Madonna discovered that adopting children is like eating Pringles. You can't have just one. So this year, she decided to add her second Malawian child. The courts tried to stop her for failing the residency requirement but this is Madonna. Nobody says no to her and gets away with it. And they didn't.
Eminem Loves Bruno: It's not exactly Joanie Loves Chaci but who am I to judge one man's love for another. The Bruno movie may not have come off, but at least it brought Eminem closer to our hearts with a goofy little skit at the MTV Awards where Eminem pretended to be homophobic. I tell ya, life is fun.
16) Green Day Rock Opera Of American Idiot Hits The Stage: I always thought Green Day wanted to be the New Ramones, but it looks like they'd rather be the New Who. American Idiot: The Musical was brought to the acting stage for a month-long run at Berkeley's Repertory Theatre.
Billy Bob Thornton Is Not An Actor. Well, He Is, But Don't Tell Him That: Then you have Billy Bob Thornton who got angry because someone interviewing him about his musical career mentioned the fact that he was also an actor. Imagine what might have happened if someone had mentioned his mother or ex-wife.
14) George Harrison Gets A Star On The Hollywood Walk Of Fame: It really is a shame that a guy has to die before he gets his own star. But then again, Van Gogh would have liked to have sold a painting.
Flaming Lips Revive Oklahoma!: The Flaming Lips' tune "Do You Realize" is declared the state of Oklahoma's Official Rock Song by Governor Brad Henry, who in one act has done more for the Flaming Lips' career than at least half the music industry.
12) Amy Winehouse Not Allowed To "Comeback": Everyone's favorite trainwreck Amy Winehouse attempted to make a comeback at St. Lucia, but the audience decided to boo her instead. Just to liven things up, she also got divorced this year and was cleared of assault charges. Bring this gal home to mom for a quick pick-me-up.
My Morning Jacket, Conor Oberst and Mike Mogis of Bright Eyes and M. Ward of M. Ward form an indie rock supergroup where they can take turns fighting who gets to be Neil Young and who's stuck being Graham Nash.
10) Kris Allen Is The New American Idol. But All Eyes End Up On Adam Lambert: It's becoming an American Idol tradition where the ones who don't win the big prize become the big story. We here at Yahoo! rightfully fear for our lives that we should in some way be construed as saying something unfavorable about Mr. Lambert. So let me wish him well and hope that he meets a nice guy and settles down. Though he might have to settle in Iowa, at this point.
8) Phil Spector Is Convicted: Nineteen Years to Life: sounds like a new Skid Row album, but it's the sentence producer Phil Spector received for being found guilty of second degree murder for the death of an actress. Hopefully, Morrissey will get a song out of this, since Arthur Miller, understandably, will not be writing any new plays.
Taylor Swift Becomes Too Popular Too Fast: First, Kanye West steals her spotlight at the VMAs, then Wynonna Judd said it was too much too soon for poor little Taylor who is the youngest recipient of the Entertainer of the Year Award at the CMAs. Actually, I think this is all proof that there are too many awards and award shows period. We need to get musicians back to work making music.
6) Steven Tyler Falls Offstage And Off the Wagon?: Well, we know Aerosmith's Steven Tyler fell offstage during a concert and it led to the band's tour being cancelled. Guitarist Joe Perry said Aerosmith would continue with or without Tyler. Drummer Joey Kramer said Tyler had made "poor choices" fueling speculation that Tyler might be battling his drug and alcohol demons. Tyler's camp maintains he's writing his memoirs. In any case, this means Aerosmith are in limbo, which even the Catholic Church has decided doesn't actually exist.
Rihanna And Chris Brown Death Match: Brown allegedly pulls some sort of Ike Turner on Rihanna, apologizes, hires a big name publicist, is charged with two felonies, supposedly secretly tied the knot (uh no), is sentenced to five years of probation and six months of community service and ordered to keep at least a football field away from Rihanna. And you think you got problems?
4) Leonard Cohen Returns To The Stage: How many 75 year old men can get onstage and entertain the youngsters and keep them in rapt silence for hours? This could seriously change things for grandparents everywhere. Put away the hard candy, gramps, and break out the folk guitar.
The Beatles Catalog Finally Gets An Overhaul: The Music Business finally sells some CDs and it's the same band that's always sold records and CDs. And then they also go to Rockband while they're at it. How exciting. Can't wait for the Kingston Trio Revival!
2) Susan Boyle Overcomes Ugly Tag To Become Successful Singer: Your parents always told you it's what's on the inside that counts. Yeah, well, they lied.
Michael Jackson: What can I say that hasn't already been said about this? Probably nothing. 2009, over and out.