List Of The Day
  • This holiday is strictly for girls. Face it, guys, there are so many ways to screw this day up that you might as well just stay home and get plastered and dream about what might have been. Wrong flowers? Wrong candy? Wrong restaurant? (Who doesn't take their date to Chuck E. Cheese's on Valentine's Day? Sheesh.) As men, we know so little about anything and this day only provides the strongest proof.

    I know that people who regularly read this blog, aside from suffering frequent headaches, think of me as a bit of a ladies man, a high roller in the stakes of love, someone to look up to. Well, I don't want to be the one to burst your bubble, so I'll just let the other readers of this fine column do me the honors with their heartfelt comments that they're invited to leave after they've read my incredible insights into nothing in particular.

    Remember, readers, I'm like your mother. Even if you kill someone, I will always love you. But could you go easier on the "he's stupid," comments. Not

    Read More »from Five Songs For Valentine’s Day
  • Five Love Songs

    With Valentine's Day approaching, it's only natural to start thinking about "Love Songs." Oddly, love has never been much of a topic for songwriters. It's really tough finding songs about love. Much harder than you'd think. Sure, there are songs like "Heard It In A Love Song" but that's hearsay! We need actual proof. Besides, the word "Love" has to be in the title. And most songs don't include that key word in their title and how else can you tell if a song is about love? By listening to the lyrics? Who does that? Sounds too much like work. I need to be hit over the head hard in order to understand anything.

    Let's get to it!

    "The Greatest Love Of All"--Whitney Houston: I only know her as the wife of Bobby Brown from that reality show, but I read somewhere that she was once a popular singer and, well, alright! I mentioned this song to a few friends and they shook their heads and said, "No!" But I don't see how you can not include a song that has both the word "greatest" and "love" in

    Read More »from Five Love Songs
  • Five Punk Love Songs

    Nowadays punk rockers are a bunch of mushcakes, whining about broken hearts and begging their girls to stay. Please don't leave me. I'm nothing without you. I thought we'd always be together. Jeez. Punks used to be, well, punks. Angry at the world, refusing to take themselves too seriously and walking around with chips on their shoulder. Now, suddenly, it's as if all the world is looking for an empty spot on Dr. Phil's couch. C'mon people! Here are five "old school" punk love songs that got it right!

    "I'm In Love With Your Mom"--VOM: Led by the irrepressible Richard Meltzer (irrepressible, what a word!), VOM never set out to write an anthem for a "new generation" but damned if this wasn't one of the most "important" songs of the punk era. Yes, it drew the line in the sand. Long before the term MILF entered the American Vernacular, there was this sweet lullaby to one hot mother!

    "I'm In Love With My Walls"--Lester Bangs and Birdland: Leave it to another rock critic to write a song

    Read More »from Five Punk Love Songs
  • Five February Songs

    Every month I think to myself, this will be the month that no one has written a song about. Surely, there is an unloved month. February is the Paul Simon of months; it's so short. Yet this year it's going for a full-on 29 days! (Simon with lifts!) And yet it still falls short of every other month. (Damn you Garfunkel!) Somewhere here there is a metaphor that describes my life. (Still short after all these years? Wait, that's not a metaphor!) But enough about me. This is about songs that have found their peculiar significance in the month that proudly calls itself February.

    "February"--Jesus Jones: Musician magazine once ran a cover that included a photo insert of the guy from Jesus Jones (Bob Jesus?) asking something like: Can Jesus Jones Save Rock n' Roll? Apparently, Jesus Jones couldn't even save themselves. For within a few short years, the band was finished and no one was asking them any questions other than the dreaded, "Where Are They Now?"

    "February"--Television Personalities:

    Read More »from Five February Songs
  • As long as there are contractual obligations, there will be live albums. What better way to not write new songs and still get paid? What better way for your record company to sell songs that people already own back to them a second time? Now, rock music is known for its live "exuberance" and its audience is known for its inability to clap in time with the music! Put the two together and you've got Kiss at their peak!

    Now lots of people will point out Live At The Apollo by James Brown or one of Johnny Cash's prison albums, or that Dylan live album where someone mistakes some concert hall in England for the Last Supper and calls out for Judas to pass the wine, but I don't like historical documents. I like stupid between-song patter and out of tune guitars! I want to know that on any given night a great performer can--through poor equipment, a hazardous mix of alcohol and pills and general indifference--play as poorly as me in my prime.

    Live Bootleg--Aerosmith: I remember when I first

    Read More »from Five Not So Great Live Albums
  • Five Song Re-Writes

    It's become an important mission of this List Of The Day blog to improve music as much as possible. We know the industry isn't going to clean up after itself. While the Recording Industry of Associated Americans (RIAA) has from time to time tried to impose standards, it has not been very successful in doing so, as can be proven by the inscrutable rise of just about every top-selling performer in the past 15 years. Unfortunately, I'm not exaggerating. I have the headache to prove it.

    So, as my loyal readers continue to write in and request that I set the record straight regarding songs they've always felt could use improvement, I'd like to thank Alan Saltz of Long Island for writing in: "Sometime in the near future could you devote an entire column to Rush lyrics? I've long been captivated by the group's ability to write about simple and complex subjects in the same ham-fisted vernacular that made them so incredibly profound when I was growing up. But now it seems a little stupid. Am I

    Read More »from Five Song Re-Writes
  • Five Songs For Britney

    Loyal readers of this blog know that we often belittle the efforts of others in futile attempts to make ourselves feel better. But we do have a heart. And we don't like to see anyone go completely loco. People with problems--even people richer, prettier, more successful and more privileged than ourselves--deserve to have those problems treated.

    This Britney Spears character has really been doing a number on herself, hasn't she? It's as if she's in a race with Amy Winehouse and Lindsay Lohan to see who can bump into Heath Ledger first. This is NOT a club you want to join. The dues are too high and the entrance exam is a killer--literally. Join the Weblos! Join the Cub Scouts! Join 4-H! Take up jogging! Save a horse, ride a cowboy! Turn on your iPod and smile!

    "Institutionalized"--Suicidal Tendencies: This mid-'80s punk classic told it how it was from the viewpoint of a kid who was being locked up against his will but who still had the wherewithal (love people with the wherewithal!) to

    Read More »from Five Songs For Britney
  • Five Great Live Albums

    Oh, I know, I left off Wings Over America. How could I?  And where's that Springsteen box? And what about Yanni at Red Rocks or the Acropolis? And don't forget those two hundred Pearl Jam concert CDs! And the Dead! And Phish! And, aw see, it just goes on forever.

    Some bands didn't shine in the live milieu. Most of my favorite performers either never made live albums or regretted doing so. They liked the recording studio, but then there were others who revealed something greater about themselves in front of a live audience and we need to look at what they accomplished, too.

    Here are five live albums that give you new insights into old recording artists.

    Live At Leeds--The Who: It was always said the early Who records didn't capture the band's true live thunder and once you hear the raw and ragged Live At Leeds you pretty much have to agree. They never sounded like this before. The original album wasn't much, either, just six tunes jammed on to two sides, but the expanded version now

    Read More »from Five Great Live Albums
  • Before you letter bomb my email box with examples of "great" songs that last a half an hour, I thought I'd offer a few of my own. One of the joys of this job is noting how everyone's taste is different. Hey, one man's ceiling is another man's floor, I suppose. But, I'm always amazed when people question my intelligence! With a provable I.Q. somewhere hovering around 40, and an unprovable I.Q. lingering around 65-70, you'd think there'd be a place for me somewhere other than List Of The Day, but this is where the government put me. Did you know the other bloggers are actually computers? Just remember them at Christmastime next year, you hear!

    Now for five songs that last a very long time that I actually enjoy hearing.

    "Summertime In England"--Van Morrison: This song is 15 minutes long. I have one friend who said when he heard it, it felt like the song had been playing for most of his lifetime, but I'm a sucker for any song that includes finger-snapping, references to Wordsworth and

    Read More »from Five Songs I’m Glad Never End
  • Yes, there are many long songs out there. They call most of that music classical or jazz. For those of us with attention deficit disorder, they created pop music. But, of course, pop music is full of devious malcontents who insist on subverting the rules and torturing the innocent. We didn't do anything necessarily to deserve music that refuses to end. It just happened. There are plenty of drones from avant-garde bands who have "expanded" our consciousness and tested our patience. But they come as advertised. You know what you're getting into. And no commercial radio station plays the Collected Works of "Earth" no matter what time of day. But these other tunes--other than the one by Canned Heat, which simply deserves to be here just for being by Canned Heat--are inescapable. You're in a bar. You're at work. You're at someone's house you don't know well and these songs come on and your life is over. Hell has officially dialed your number.

    "In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida"--Iron Butterfly: Yeah, sure

    Read More »from Five Songs That Never End

Pagination

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News for You

  • NYers furious over photos taken through windows

    NEW YORK (AP) — In one photo, a woman is on all fours, presumably picking something up, her posterior pressed against a glass window. Another photo shows a couple in bathrobes, their feet touching beneath a table. And there is one of a man, in jeans and a T-shirt, lying on his side as he takes a nap.

  • Denmark's de Forest wins Eurovision song contest

    MALMO, Sweden (AP) — Denmark's Emmelie de Forest has won this year's Eurovision Song Contest with her ethno-inspired flute and drum tune "Only Teardrops," despite tough competition from spectacular stage shows by performers from Azerbaijan and Ukraine.

  • Denmark favorite to win Eurovision Song Contest

    MALMO, Sweden (AP) — An ethno-inspired flute and drum tune from Denmark is the bookmakers' favorite to win this year's Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday, which also features a bizarre opera pop number from Romania and an Armenian rock song written by the guitarist of Black Sabbath.

  • Native American actress proud to walk Cannes red carpet

    By Belinda Goldsmith CANNES (Reuters) - Native American actress Misty Upham never dreamt she would be walking the red carpet at Cannes to showcase a film shot on her reservation. Upham features in "Jimmy P. Psychotherapy of a Plains Indian", focused on the relationship between World War Two veteran Jimmy Picard, a Native American Blackfoot, and Georges Devereux, his psychoanalyst. Upham said like Picard, played by Puerto Rican actor Benicio Del Toro, she is Blackfeet, the largest tribe in Montana state. ...

  • 'American Idol' finale draws record low ratings

    NEW YORK (AP) — Ratings for the "American Idol" finale plunged to a record low for the 12-year-old show.

  • Edward Furlong arrested in West Hollywood

    LOS ANGELES (AP) — A Los Angeles sheriff's spokesman says 'Terminator 2' star Edward Furlong has been arrested on suspicion of violating a restraining order filed by his ex-girlfriend.

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