List Of The Day

  • I have a novelty record by Bruce Springstone with his Fred Flintstone version of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" that many people mistake for the real Springsteen in one his great lapses in taste. ("Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" is the real deal.) And while some of you might find the mixing of music and sports to be a very bad idea, Huey Lewis thought so much of it he named one of his hit albums Sports. (Don't worry, that list is coming next!)

    Since it's October and the baseball playoffs are upon us and everyone expects a list about it, and I am a shameless sycophant, I offer you five songs about baseball.

    John Fogerty--"Centerfield": Creedence Clearwater Revival were one thing. But when John Fogerty decided to come back he did so riding the wave of Americana that was Born In The U.S.A. and just like a bad, overpriced hot dog spoiling in the sun, Fog delivered this song that still gets played whenever the skies turn to April and the kids are whiffing up the pine tar. Boy is this tune

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  • Five Wolf-Inspired Acts

    By | List Of The Day – Wed, Oct 17, 2007 2:20 PM EDT

    Ah geez. Just when you thought it was safe. Remember kids, it's Wolf Awareness Week, October 17-23. Bring a wolf to school and win a free lunch, I suppose.

    Have I mentioned how not into this animal I am? My brother-in-law is an absolute Wolf Nut. He's got a collection of Wolf paraphernalia that honestly freaks me out. He's got hats, sweaters, t-shirts, baseball caps, throw rugs, blankets, tents, coffee mugs, curtains. The guy is obsessed! But we always know what to buy him for his birthday!

    And since he collects all things Wolf-related, I went into his CD collection and found his favorite Wolf albums. As you can tell, he's like me in this regard. We would both rather look at music than listen to it.

    The Naked Brothers Band: At first I just thought he'd lost his mind. Then he explained that the Naked Brothers Band is the work of two brothers, Nat and Alex Wolff. Ah, henceforth, he must own this. In a few years if it isn't a collector's item, he might break the shrinkwrap and listen to

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  • Five Wolf Songs

    By | List Of The Day – Tue, Oct 16, 2007 3:12 PM EDT

    You're not going to believe this, but October 17-23 is Wolf Awareness Week. So, of course, with big money bankrolling this special interest and us little people helplessly caught in the way, we submit to the endless, relentless hype that is sure to follow this damn week. What I want to know is: Who starts a week on a Wednesday?

    I know little about wolves. They look like big dogs to me, but I'm told they're dangerous. That's enough for me. But the powers that be insist and demand "Lists About Wolves" because the PEOPLE CARE ABOUT WOLVES. How can I argue? I am but a cog in the machine, a conduit for the forces of the establishment that determine our fate as humans on this planet. I don't want to find my body in a dumpster at the back of a strip mall parking lot.

    So with great enthusiasm, I offer you the FIVE FINEST SONGS ABOUT THE WOLF.

    Duran Duran--"Hungry Like the Wolf": Probably the world's most famous "Wolf" song, it must've raised Wolf Awareness in ways that dedicating an entire

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  • While he's been in the news for a murder trial, Phil Spector was once a well-respected maracas player who performed on the Rolling Stones' debut album. My notes also say he was a record producer with a "Wall of Sound," noted as such for adding 20 pianos, 30 guitars and 50 drums where one would normally do. But while he made his name as a puppet master, pulling the strings behind a rotating cast of better-looking characters than himself (not hard to find), he also went on produce albums for other people who loved his reputation and were often miffed by the results, often heard whining afterwards, "Where's my wall?"

    Here are the five most important Phil Spector albums:

    Various Artists--A Christmas Gift for You From Phil Spector: He recorded all tons of hits with his Wrecking Crew, putting the "Wall of Sound" in place. But he came of age in an era where the "single," not the album, mattered. Kind of like today, but better. He did manage to collect his various projects and force them to

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  • Screw Kanye West and 50 Cent. Let them both quit the music business. We want to see real battles fought. Maybe the E Street Band vs. Ozomatli. We want full-on fisticuffs. And here are five duels we might pony up to see on Pay-Per-View.

    Robert Wyatt vs. Kevin Ayers: Now Wyatt's in a wheelchair, so I'm not sure how we smooth over this disadvantage. Maybe we give him a Taser? In any case, if they fight with as much creativity as they put into their songs, things could get pretty interesting. Maybe they'd wait until one of them falls asleep and then WHAP!

    Charlie Louvin vs. Porter Wagoner: This wouldn't be Last Man Standing, but Last Man Still Breathing. They're both over 70. And while they're unlikely to match the kind of food fights I witnessed in the Alzheimer's Unit of the Veteran's Hospital, if they can motivate their road crews into helping out, things could get ugly once the dentures start flying.

    Guns N' Roses vs. Velvet Revolver: This would just be a bloodletting--though it would

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  • The Internet has been abuzz with people shooting links to a video clip that people want to believe is Meg White of the White Stripes enjoying a little non-drumming action. I've seen the clip in question and I don't think it's her, but rather an incredible simulation. And whoever it is can stop by and visit anytime. Just don't bring Tommy Lee.

    But while some rock performers could certainly entertain us with their sexcapades, there are quite a few who quite clearly wouldn't. Within days of this video link hitting the Internet, similar mass emails started circulating with suggestions of drummers we wouldn't want to see getting it on with their fellow band-mates, errant strangers and/ or farm animals. I picked my five. Now, please go and do the same. And try to keep the unpleasant mental images to a minimum.

    Moe Tucker--Velvet Underground: Moe always had a sexless quality to her. (Is that a guy or a girl back there?) And the Velvet Underground managed to play songs about S&M and oral sex

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  • Now that Radiohead are redefining music and music promotion as we know it by allowing people to pay whatever they want for their new album on download and then offering an $82 boxed set for those who like to spend $82, it's time that YOU, yes YOU, thought about how your band is going to stick out in the overcrowded crowd.

    With all these newfangled ways on the Internet of getting your band out there and your music heard, it's become easier to actually get lost in the iPod shuffle. Everyone has an MP3. Everyone has a video. But who can draw a crowd at a live performance? That's where you can really impress. Look at Kiss! Their songs are horrible! They can barely play. But boy, can Gene spit blood and breathe fire.  And for that he gets his own show on the television!

    But that's now been done. You probably don't have much of a budget. So while advertising Free Drinks! might seem like an immediate draw--and it is--it will lead you to bankruptcy court. Yes, every band sounds better after

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  • Five Woman Songs

    By | List Of The Day – Tue, Oct 9, 2007 11:46 AM EDT

    Since it was decided that man could be broken down into five song-bearing subsets, it only seems logical that "woman" should also be broken down in five-part fashion. However, it has been discovered that women are broken down more by geography than men. Sure, you could argue for "California Man" by the Move, but we had to ignore Kentucky women and women from Tokyo just to get this list down to the mandatory five and we still snuck the Doors in there.

    But now for the five "woman" songs:

    Aretha Franklin--"(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman": John Lennon wrote a song simply called "Woman." He also wrote ones called "Love" and "God."  Had he lived, we might've been treated to future smashes such as "Food," "Dentures" and "Eldercare." Now, Carole King knew the power of parenthesis. "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman," which in my searches also came up with people who want to call the song, "You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Woman)," remains one of Aretha Franklin's signature tunes

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  • Five Man Songs

    By | List Of The Day – Mon, Oct 8, 2007 1:39 PM EDT

    Who doesn't like to be classified? Pre-judged? Labeled and put snugly in a preconceived box? It makes things so much easier. Oh, look, here comes the annoying guy! Yes, it's a wonderful thing to be acknowledged and loved.

    Men and women fall into different categories. Men are usually rougher, smell worse and won't ask for directions. Women smell nice and buy lots of shoes. These obvious differences aside, men and women can also be broken down into many subsets. How many? For our purposes, five! Today, we'll start with man. 

    Neil Diamond--"Solitary Man": How many old, lonely, shriveled up guys do we know who always blame everyone else for their rotten luck with women?  No, couldn't be the Old Spice. Couldn't be the endless ranting about comic book superheroes and record label matrix numbers and "mint condition" whatever... While some people have horrible luck, some guys don't get the concept of a "league" and consistently aim well outside their current division. I'm sure there are women

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  • Five October Songs

    By | List Of The Day – Fri, Oct 5, 2007 2:39 PM EDT

    Wow. I thought musicians had an attitude towards September. Nothing prepared me for the hostility towards October. Yes, it's the name of an early U2 album, before Bono bought the World Bank. Yes, October Faction were a horrible instrumental group featuring the tone-deaf members of Black Flag, Universal Congress of..., the Descendents and Tom Troccoli's Dog. And if this isn't shaping up to be an illustrious list of nothing in particular, then wait till you see what I stuck us with for the five "best" songs about October. It's like a giant barrel of suck, I tell ya.

    "October Song"--Amy Winehouse: Before she became everyone's favorite freaky absentee singer, she made records. One was made back in 2003 when no one was paying attention. She called it Frank and it's being reissued this year.  And on it, she put this song, "October Song," which is listed as being 11 minutes long. You think she falls asleep midway through? Someone write in and tell me what happens. I might have to go out and

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News for You

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  • Debbie Reynolds: We all knew Liberace was gay

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