Though we like the September weather, we're not too jazzed about the foreboding vibe that accompanies the coming of Fall. We all know the agents of oppression are upon on. Shorter days, colder nights and school back in session. Homework, detention. Even those of us who haven't been near a school under court order remember and often dream about being back in school. It's usually the day of the test. I haven't studied. I haven't read the textbook. I didn't bring a number two pencil. In fact, I didn't wear any pants. Talk about unprepared. On the bright side, I seem to look exactly as I did in high school and so does everyone else. The ruins of encroaching old age have been eliminated. But it's going to be really tough walking the hall without my pants. Someone might notice.

But here are five songs key to school survival. They speak the truth.

Supertramp--"School": They rhyme "school" with "golden rule." Can't argue with that. In their day--the progressive rock of the 1970s--Supertramp

You knew this was coming. I warned you. I'm a man of my word and so few ideas that I've got to milk every threadbare, half-baked concept and hope to get it done before mom comes home and kicks me off her computer. Mama's looking fine today!

So songs with the word September in them--not as many to choose from as I would've liked. Kids today simply aren't using the calendar to its full potential. Sure there's a band called Thursday, but the dearth of great "Thursday" songs is appalling. Especially for such a swell day. If I had my druthers, there would also be many more songs championing the wonders of daylight savings time. But, alas, I just work here.

David Blue--"These 23 Days in September": Somebody clue this dude in. I don't know if his mom was trying to save money by buying economy-priced calendars, but there are 30, count 'em, days in September. But I like this guy, who also recorded as S. David Cohen. Even better, I liked the one review of this album where the reviewer pointed

During my last venture outside a few weeks ago, I noted it was still summer, which means it's still plenty warm and sales of wool coats and down comforters aren't what they used to be. But Ice Cream sales are booming. People love the ice cream. And I can't say I blame them. Back when I could eat solid food, it was one of the pleasures I enjoyed immensely. Such are memories! (And why God makes chocolate shakes!)

And there's no better way to be reminded of life's simple joys than with the exultations of song! So we now pause to praise the five finest songs that celebrate Ice Cream and its wonderfully sweet, creamy magic.

Jefferson Airplane--"Ice Cream Phoenix": I have no idea what an Ice Cream Phoenix is and I don't see any connection whatsoever between the much loved dessert and this song, but before the group splintered into Jefferson Starship and eventually Starship, building cities on rock n' roll, they played this annoyingly loud music that still sounds really good when you're too

Things we know for sure. The sun is hot. Summertime is the hottest season. There is a lot of hot sun during the summertime. People write songs with the hopes that other people "relate" to them, therefore, they write songs about the weather and that includes the sun.

The Velvet Underground once asked "Who Loves The Sun" and then answered "not everyone," setting us up for future anti-sun songs. Just goes to show there's a contrarian at every pool party. Who keeps inviting these glum chums? And why do they keep showing up? Why don't they stay home and listen to their emo records?

John Denver--"Sunshine On My Shoulder": Certain songs speak such universal truths that NO ONE can deny their sentiment. I can't speak for you--though I will--but sunshine on MY shoulder makes me happy, for sure. Sunshine on the water does look lovely. And while I can't say sunshine makes me as high as these doctor-prescribed muscle relaxants I'm quite fond of, I could see where it does more for the average person