Here at Yahoo! we have certain mandatory requirements that we don't question. Don't steal your co-worker's car. Always wear underwear underneath your clothing. Don't talk to the guy who writes the Framed blog. If someone asks you what you're working on, giggle and say "I'm on it!" Celebrate the birthdays of old people. It makes them feel special.
So the memo came down from headquarters. I read it and felt a little part of myself die. Hopefully, it was a part I won't be needing. The memo said: Greg Lake was born on November 10, 1948, which means he will be almost 60 this year. Certainly, we can get the jerk whom writes that "List of the Day" column to do a list of Greg's great accomplishments! If not, Larry has a nephew coming out of prison soon who could take over the blog."
I don't know who Larry is, but I don't like it!
Now Greg Lake was in Emerson, Lake and Palmer, Emerson, Lake and Powell and something called King Crimson. The first two, I'm told, are not legal firms. Great.
Anyhow, I decided it would be infinitely more interesting if I listed the five greatest "Lake" songs instead. None of which, coincidentally, were written by Mr. Lake. So here goes nothing!
Spirit In The Night"--Bruce Springsteen: By the time he makes it up to "Greasy Lake," he has his head out the window and Janey's fingers are in the cake. Let his GEICO representative find this out and his premiums are going through the roof! In 15 minutes, he won't save a bundle on his car insurance.
"Lake Of Fire"--Meat Puppets: So good Kurt Cobain and the Nirvana Boys opted to cover it as well, making its writer Curt Kirkwood if not a rich man, then a better paid man than the rest of his cohorts. And you wonder why band members end up hating each other?
The Lake"--King Diamond: You have no idea how excited I got when I saw that the King himself had written a song called "The Lake" and stuck it on a B-side to some EP he released years ago. Any chance to mention this great leader is one chance I intend to take! We WILL have a King Diamond Day at Yahoo! We will! The people have spoken!
"Lake"--Moby Grape: As always the Puddle Of Mudd fans write in requesting more Moby Grape and we find ways to satisfy them. "Lake" comes off Grape Jam, a collection of jam shots that was included as a bonus disc to the San Francisco band's second album Wow. These days they don't make records anymore--neither the band nor the music industry. Coincidence?
The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"--Gordon Lightfoot: Alright, with a load of iron ore weighing 26,000 tons more than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty, and with the bells ringing 29 times for each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald, if the crew had put 15 more miles behind them and made Whitefish Bay, what would be the per capita income of Michigan's Upper Peninsula? This isn't a song. This is an SAT question!
- Greg Lake