You knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. Let's get it over with. November isn't much of a month for most people to write songs about. I knew a songwriter named Bob Sanders who had a nice one called "November's Way" but he only sold it on a cassette tape at a bar that closed 15 years ago. So, while we'd love to include him on this list, we can't. The Yahoo! bylaws strictly forbid such things. So, instead, we're left with this hack job of...well, mostly crap. We'll start on a high, so we can go out on a low. Hey, at least we have each other!
November Spawned A Monster"--Morrissey: Morrissey has a big forehead and his eyebrows are quite substantial. His jaw rivals that of Jay Leno. As a vegetarian, he is friend to the cow. And he inspires both his fans and his detractors to uncontrollable delirium in response to his every move. At least we know he's not the one who's repressed. Some want to be him. Others wish to stone him. Me, I'd like to meet his tailor!
"Late November"--Sandy Denny: It would figure that this Fairport Convention singer would record a song not just about November, but late November. Of course, just as she looked so dashing sitting in the leaves on the cover of that Fairport Convention album I touted, so she sounds so mournful and dire singing about a time when the Northern Hemisphere gets very, very dark and our fading hopes are pinned on that very George Harrison concept and album that all things must pass. Like a kidney stone, brother.
November Rain"--Guns N' Roses: I hate this song almost as much as the commentators who keep thanking me for not listing it on other lists where it could conceivably fit. Well, the number's up and we have to deal with it. But we can do it a lot quicker than the 25 minutes it takes to finish listening to the dopey song. I'm not sure how we stop the enshrinement of these gentlemen into the pantheon of rock legends. Start handing out incoherent leaflets that say something like "Do It For the Children"? Kids are like old people. No one pays attention to them but we pretend to care because it makes us look like respectable people instead of the psychotic monsters we really are. Don't mind me speaking for you.
"November Sky"--Yanni: I don't need to hear this. I've seen his hair.
"In November"--Ben Weaver: Here's one crass dude. Do you think it's a coincidence that this guy releases a song called "In November" on an album that comes out this year? The year I start writing a blog that highlights songs by the month? Makes me wonder how many bands are right now hurriedly writing songs with titles such as "A Cold, Crappy February" and "April Come She Will"? If I could see the future, I'd buy a lottery ticket and be the new me!