List Of The Day

Five Guys Who Should Be Dead BEFORE Kevin DuBrow

You expect to hear of rock stars dying. Consider the lifestyle. Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. It's not what how my doctor advises me. So when we read of the sad passing of Kevin DuBrow, the singer for Quiet Riot who made the guys in Slade millionaires a second time with his cover of "Come on, people now, feel the noise with me," we got a twinge of sadness and a sense of how can it be? He didn't seem like someone who should go this way.

Consider this: if Keith Richards makes it to 70, that's 113 to you and me. If he makes it to 80, that's 140.  I'm not sharing my algorithm on this, but I will submit a list of people who mathematically--and by all logic--should have died before Kevin DuBrow.

Keith Richards - Naturally. I know, I know, after a nuclear war, cockroaches and Keith Richards will survive. Keith will see the radioactive glow and assume it's the stage lights telling him it's time and he'll mangle the intro to "Start Me Up" as we all wither and die horribly.

Bob Dylan - Have you ever watched the D.A. Pennebaker documentary Don't Look Back?  Did you ever count how many cigarettes Dylan smokes in the span of 90 minutes? Multiple that by 40 years and tell me how he isn't carting around an iron lung?

Pete Seeger - No, not Bob Seger. That other guy that Springsteen made famous. Seeger's an old folkie, so that may be part of it. Folk music kills the people who hear it, not the people who perform it. They apparently live to be 200. The rest of us die with a hammer in our hand. Which we would gladly use if it stopped someone from singing folk songs.

Neil Young - Epilepsy. Brain aneurysms. Onstage Neil Young flits around like a guy determined to throw his back out. Watch any electric performance with Crazy Horse where the tempo rises above '3' and figure out how Young doesn't smash his head into the amps.

B.B. King - You've seen him doing those diabetes commercials? Diabetes kills people mercilessly. People who stay home and carefully monitor their sugar intake. Have you ever eaten road food? A week of it can kill healthy people. I want to meet B.B.'s personal chef. This is one disciplined musical hero here. The man performs constantly. The wear and tear would kill lesser men YEARS AGO. If he makes it to 100, we don't name a day after him, we name a MONTH.

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