Listen, it's winter. It's cold. I have seasonal affective disorder since I don't get enough light and I'm starting to snap at everyone I see. How this is different from the way I behave any other time? According to my therapist, there is no difference. But he's just getting annoyed because my checks keep bouncing and he won't be able to put in that new heated swimming pool in his enclosed backyard! Poor him!
Anyhow, everyone loves artists who think conceptually and everyone loves performers who really bring out the season in all of us. So, of course, since it's winter, we will take the time to discuss five performers who are ICE COLD in more ways than one.
Vanilla Ice: This guy's career was practically over before Suge Knight dangled him over the hotel terrace and allegedly threatened to kill him if he didn't make better records. Well, Ice knew he couldn't do that, so he faded from view and worked his way onto Reality TV like all those other really "successful" stars who like money more than their pride.
Ice-T: Before he became such a leading man of TV crime dramas, he was a rapper who made albums about killing cops. Funny how these things turn around. It's like devoting the first part of your life to saving little children from poverty and then deciding it's ok to eat them once in awhile. Well, actually that's a bad, inaccurate analogy. But it's the only one I have at the moment.
Ice Cube: Here's another guy who started out scaring the hell out of people when he was in N.W.A. (Norwegians Who Advocate) and suddenly turned into this huggable, lovable family man actor with some of the better punch lines in movies that are hysterical if you're properly medicated. Even if you aren't, the movies don't make much sense. But they kill time efficiently.
Johnny Winter: Just like his brother Edgar Winter, Johnny has white hair, white skin and is considered an Albino, which means he's got a very distinctive look--like a Polar Bear. Add in the fact that he looks like he weighs 70 pounds and you've got the proto-typical rocker. He can also play the guitar quite well and he sings like a guy who's never had a lesson in his life. Which, again, makes him a prototypical rocker. Some people really were born to rock. I wasn't. Apparently, I was born to get fat and whine a lot. Lucky me.
Frijid Pink: They named their second album Defrosted. I love it. They came to fame with a loud rendition of "The House Of The Rising Sun" that I really liked because it was loud. That one song is what allowed them on this list ahead of a band called the Frost, who I also owned an album by, but didn't hear anything that makes me remember them 20 years later.