Word is that surviving members of Acid Rock Avatars the Led Zeppelin are considering reforming. Of course, this means they'll need a new drummer since the one they had -- according to police records, John Bonham -- went off and died in 1980. While the obvious choice for a fill-in would be his son Jason, it's more fun to imagine what it would be like if they chose from the rock elite. And before you think it might be tough to find someone willing to sit behind the drums for the 27 minutes it takes LZ guitarist Jimmy Page to perform "Dazed And Confused," keep in mind that's usually when the band goes backstage, changes their shirts and play pinochle.
Here are the five drummers who could make a difference, who could transform "(And She's Buying The) Stairway to Heaven," "(It's Been a Long Time Since I) Rock n' Roll" and "(Ah) Hot Dog" into a whole new experience for a whole new generation. Whole Lotta Love, indeed!
Meg White:: Sure, I've heard the criticisms. And maybe the reason Jack White keeps Meg around for the White Stripes is he's seen what the going rate is for guy drummers and he figures until an actual Equal Rights Amendment gets passed HE'S in the driver's seat. But should Meg defect to Led Zeppelin, she wouldn't be under Jack's tyrannical thumb and would never have to play a steady beat since the great thing about Led Zeppelin songs is they stop and start -a lot.
Charlie Watts: This would be such an ego boost for the guys in Zep. Imagine stealing your competition's prized possession. As a full-time board member of Rolling Stones Enterprises LTD., Charlie Watts obviously doesn't need the money. But it would give him an awful lot more leverage the next time Mick and Keith come around and tell him he has to play on their "new" material. "'Rough Justice,' Mick? Yeah, I don't think so. Let's stick with 'Gomper,' shall we?"
Dave Grohl: No one's been able to get Grohl back behind the drums since that Cobain kid died. Grohl shot out to the front of the stage, grabbed a guitar and suddenly it's like he belongs there. He obviously didn't read the drummer's manual that clearly spells out that drummers are not allowed to fraternize with musicians. Roadies? Yes. Caterers? Yes. Lead singers? Uh, no. Surely, Grohl would be willing to sit back where he belongs if Jimmy Page threatened to cast an evil spell and have his family killed.
Tommy Ramone: This would be the perfect marriage. What Tommy lacks in technical expertise - he doesn't do well with drum rolls - he could make up for with youthful enthusiasm. As the only living member of the original Ramones line-up, Tommy would be 'representing' for punks the world over. This would be huge, like a reunited Germany or some other equally exciting corporate merger. They'd be bigger than U.S. Steel!
Phil Collins: Stop rolling your eyes. If Phil Collins could transform Genesis from some anonymous, sleepy prog-rock band into the hit-making pop machine that was the 1980s, well, he could teach these old dogs some new tricks. Just imagine the joy, the exuberance, the bombs bursting in air, the first time Collins breaks rank with the set-list and determinedly plows through "In The Air Tonight," "Sussudio" and with special invite Philip Bailey (!) "Easy Lover." Who's going to want to hear "When the Freakin' Levee Breaks" after that?