Five Songs I’m Glad Never End

Before you letter bomb my email box with examples of "great" songs that last a half an hour, I thought I'd offer a few of my own. One of the joys of this job is noting how everyone's taste is different. Hey, one man's ceiling is another man's floor, I suppose. But, I'm always amazed when people question my intelligence! With a provable I.Q. somewhere hovering around 40, and an unprovable I.Q. lingering around 65-70, you'd think there'd be a place for me somewhere other than List Of The Day, but this is where the government put me. Did you know the other bloggers are actually computers? Just remember them at Christmastime next year, you hear!

Now for five songs that last a very long time that I actually enjoy hearing.

"Summertime In England"--Van Morrison: This song is 15 minutes long. I have one friend who said when he heard it, it felt like the song had been playing for most of his lifetime, but I'm a sucker for any song that includes finger-snapping, references to Wordsworth and Coleridge (the makers of fine cold cuts sold everywhere--though Faulkner bologna can't be beat! And break out the Proust while you're at it!) and includes a "slow" part where it sounds like they're dragging a casket up a hill. Well, that's one song I wanna be a part of!

"Frankie Teardrop"--Suicide: If you've never heard this song before, do yourself a favor. Get in a car late at night, turn the volume all the way up and start driving down a dark, deserted road. Maybe take some Tylenol PM or something--though I wouldn't advocate such a thing--and then prepare for lift-off. If you survive the 10-11 minutes of this song without driving off the road, you've won! Those of us already familiar with this song load up on Xanax and hide in the corner.

"Thick As A Brick"--Jethro Tull: The opening line is "Really don't mind if you sit this one out." And you are advised to find a nice, comfy fluffy chair because now in the CD age you don't have to flip the record over to hear all 45 minutes of this "morality play." Yes, for those of you unaware, this Jethro Tull song is one complete album length. I admit, I've cheated over the years and put together a 22-minute tape edit that takes out lots of the instrumental parts, but I've also survived the entire song many times as well. Next time your roommate is trying to rush you out the door to go somewhere, just tell him you want to listen to one more song before you leave and put this on! Who doesn't like to be late?

"When The Music's Over"--The Doors: The cynics in my audience will rumble that I only put this on my list because every time I mention the Doors I get a ton of mail telling me I'm a moron. Now I live for positive reinforcement and I enjoy knowing I'm "connecting" with my readers, but I would never use the Doors in vain. St. Jim Morrison would be on my butt so fast I'd be an actor out on loan before I could check out of his fine hotel. But just to be a little nitpicky, I prefer to listen to the Doors with the lights already off, so therefore "when the music's over," I'm left with nothing to do.

"Maggot Brain"--Funkadelic: Eddie Hazel never played a better guitar solo. I'm not sure if anyone ever did. Allegedly, George Clinton told Hazel to play as if his mother had just died and this is what came out. Well, damn, imagine what might have resulted if he'd been told his whole family had kicked and left him out of the will! I'm not a huge fan of instrumental music, since there aren't many words to sing along to, but I must admit, the part where it sounds like Hazel is breaking the amplifier with too much sound is worth not singing over!