Funny to say this, but musicians are people, too. And sometimes they find themselves out of work, just like you and me. But unlike you and me, when they do, they find another artform to ruin. Usually it's film, but sometimes it's fine art, poetry, interpretive dance. But when it's television, it affects us all.
Henry Rollins shouldn't be allowed on television. We know this. But until we can get the laws changed in our favor, we will have to endure the unpleasantness.
But every once in awhile, a musician shows up on our little idiot box and does such a fine job that for a moment you even think about listening to their music. Then you do something more productive.
Here are my five favorite musicians who made the crossover to television history!
Yes, right now, Creed Bratton is riding the hot hand. Once a member of the Grass Roots, one of music's finest achievements, he now lurks in the back corner of an office where he spends more time working on his on-the-side scams that any actual work. The demonic look in his eye is worth a thousand scripted pages. And one day when he belts into "Bella Linda" or "Two Divided By Love," "Where Were You When I Needed You" or "Midnight Confessions," well, that's the day we're all waiting for. Especially those pesky Puddle Of Mudd fans who keep writing in.
Loudon was only on a handful of episodes of M*A*S*H and quite honestly I barely remember them and I'm under no contractual obligation to watch the show's reruns (oh, please Yahoo! be kind and merciful, I distinctly remember begging "No Alan Alda!"). But this was where Loudo got his big breakthrough, when he started selling out arenas and riding in limos and becoming the huge star he is today. Check him out in Undeclared instead, where he plays the dad who shows up at his son's college dorm and won't go home. As opposed to real life, where he plays the dad that keeps birthing children who go on to have successful musical careers. What the hell is that about?
I'm not sure if it was a step up or down when the guy who gave the world "My Sharona" showed up to play cards on Roseanne. I never saw the show. But I was told he was a pretty good card player. I wouldn't know a bad one, so I'll take other people's words for it. What I do know is the Knack were much better than most people said. And that's how I came to understand that most people are born liars. Nice people, but born liars.
A pioneer in her field, Suzi Quatro knew she needed something extra to help her connect with the masses, so why not play Leather Tuscadero on Happy Days and become a huge TV star? Except when she was offered a spin-off show of her own, she declined because, well, you've seen Happy Days, right?
I don't understand TV these days. I can't tell Law And Order from CSI and then there are all these offshoots. None of it makes any sense. Stick with home makeover shows where people keep demolishing perfectly good kitchens. But at least this cop show genre gives people who can't act like Ice-T something to do, something that keeps him so busy he doesn't have time to make records anymore!