Naturally, there are those who believe I have gone on too long, but like Ozzy Osbourne once said, You Can't Kill Rock 'n' Roll! Or the parasites who leech off its very blood!
Having done the seminal and quite brilliant Ten Bands Who Broke Up When They Were Done blog, I now offer a look at the bands that have treaded on too long.
The main requirement to make this list is when a band is no longer really a band, when its main members are long gone and there are nothing but people who weren't there in the beginning to help them soldier on.
10) The Pretenders: I can't blame Chrissie Hynde for still calling the group The Pretenders after the death of her guitarist and bassist. It had only been two albums and her own name likely didn't yet have any selling power. But decades later, it's time to stop calling it The Pretenders. It's you, Chrissie. Jeez, even your album Break Up the Concrete had session pro Jim Keltner on drums. Sure, Martin Chambers came back to tour, but what kind of band is it when your drummer isn't even on the record?
9) Guns 'n' Roses: Axl Rose owns the name, but the actual group died when Slash-boy, Duff-dude and Izzy-man quit the group. Yet, Chinese Democracy was finally realized and no one cared. Advice: team up with Courtney Love and roll out The Axl Rose-Courtney Love Riot Revue. People will pay you like you're GG Allin. Fergie failed her audition for the new G 'n' R of the 21st Century.
8) The Rolling Stones: The only reason The Stones didn't place higher is because I am still sentimental enough to think that they still manage a stray track here and there and I do think some of their live recordings sound better than they did back in the early 1980s. This may be a tribute to post-production, but whatever. It's still really classless to not include Darryl Jones as your bassist in photo shots. I know you're a bloodless corporation, but Keith Richards wouldn't have a career if it weren't for the men and women who have kept him standing up all these years when he felt like falling down.
7) Pink Floyd: You survived the exit of Syd Barrett by adding the incredible David Gilmour. But without Roger Waters, it's not Pink Floyd, any more than it was Pink Floyd when Waters ran the band without Nick Mason on drums and Rick Wright on payroll as an employee.
6) Kiss: If the band doesn't include Ace and Peter, it's not KISS. I don't care who hides behind the make-up. I don't care if Eric Carr (RIP) was a better drummer. KISS was the core four and that's it.
5) The Fall: Mark E. Smith is the Fall. He should break up with himself. Kudos to those who served under his leadership only to get punched out at a lackluster live show. I want to see solo albums. Lots of them. Every few months just like Robert Pollard. But with better results.
4) The Cure: Robert Smith can't keep shuffling the line-up like it doesn't matter. It's nice that Simon Gallup has remained in the group for so long and that Porl Thompson came back, but no Lol Tolhurst? Jason Cooper since the mid 1990s? Just let the band rest in peace and start up a new configuration with a new named like Cured.
3) Lynyrd Skynyrd: When Ronnie Van Zant went down in that plane in 1977, it was the end of the band known as Lynyrd Skynyrd. Just as Keith Moon ended the Who and Jim Morrison ended the Doors and Kurt Cobain ended Nirvana. Everything else has been something else.
2) Jefferson Airplane/ Starship: I'm fine with the Jefferson Airplane. But from there it gets testy. And Starship were so miserable that it makes them even worse. No reason to exist, really. And to link themselves to the loud and trashy days of the Airplane is desperate and sad.
1) The Who: When Keith Moon died, the Who were over. No band in rock history has been more dependent on each member of the group to make its sound. Each member was irreplaceable. And to then continue without John Entwistle? Ugh. I expect to one day go to my old high school and see something called The Who with absolutely no original members, just like those old doo-wop groups that used to play my high school auditorium.
