Let's face it, the really tough list will be coming up with names that are considered good names. Awfulness is pretty obvious. But great names can be a matter of opinion. Is "Dead Kennedys" offensive? Or the perfect punk name? So hard to do, yet I'm working on it. I don't expect a whole lot of agreement but we'll see.
So for now, let's throw in another 25 awful and terrible band names. For the record, I read all of your suggestions from the last blog and agree with you all. A couple were already on this list, so I kept them. As always if you think of more, be sure to write them in that box at the bottom of the blog so generously supplied to you by your friends here at Y! Music.
And for those of you who thought I should get a raise! I'll be giving out my boss' HOME ADDRESS as soon as I know he's on vacation! You should see the dump he lives in!
25) Dashboard Confessional: OK, maybe I'm tainting this one because I also immediately hear their music coming through and it's so sincere and "confessional" that it makes me feel a little sorry for them. You have no idea how glad I am that there were no local poetry readings for me to attend as a teenager.
24) Soul Coughing: Not a bad band, but these are two words that should never be used in a band name, unless you're a Gospel group like the Soul Stirrers. But Soul Asylum, De La Soul, Soul II Soul, These Immortal Souls, those are names that bother me. I don't know why. I've never cared for the term "Soul Music" either. Just as "Emo" bugs me. Music should be emotional. If I want soulless, emotionless music, I'll go watch a band of Investment Bankers jam sometime.
23) Archers Of Loaf: I have never listened to these guys and the name is the honest reason. They might be great. But every word in that band title bugs me. The "Of" might be the worst of all. Not that calling yourselves The Loaf Archers would be any improvement.
22) The Mamas And The Papas: We won't judge the kind of Papa John Phillips turned out to be. I just don't like the cutesy nature of the name. Maybe I would like it more if they had spawned not Wilson Phillips but The Spoiled Brats.
21) Papa Roach: OK, I admit, the name is true honesty in advertising. The music sounds like a big disgusting bug.
20) Sixpence None The Richer: Do you feel like writing out that whole title everytime? And SNTR looks even dumber. I guess I could've chosen NICKELBACK while I'm at it. But I don't want to bring those guys up. They might end up showing up at my house for a free concert to make amends.
19) Poi Dog Pondering: A smart reader of this blog picked out the Toad The Wet Sprocket name as being pretty bad even if it did come from Monty Python's Eric Idle. At the same time their record label was promoting them, they also had a band called Poi Dog Pondering that sounded like something else I would rather not listen to.
18) Deep Blue Something: In some ways I admire this name. I mean, it's like they took the time to come up with Deep Blue and then just gave up. Would they have been better as Deep Blue Anything? Or Deep Blue Bowl From Pottery Barn?
17) Mott The Hoople: It pains me to point this one out. Mick Ronson and Ian Hunter belong in the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame with this group. But the name, taken from a Willard Manus novel, was suggested by their producer, Guy Stevens, who made them change from their original name, Silence. Not sure Silence was better. But Mott the Hoople doesn't do justice to the band behind the name. Then again, that could also be true for Moby Grape, Procol Harum and Toe Fat. Or maybe they are perfect names and I just don't get it.
16) America: It's clever to name your band America. After all, who wants to go on record claiming they "hate America"? But if you call yourselves America, you've got do better than a couple of great radio tunes. "Sister Goldenhair" still sounds quite charming when it comes on in the supermarket, but I expect more from America!
15) Tears For Fears: Is this somebody's idea of a fair trade? I'll give you my tears if you give me your fears. Hey, that rhymes! At least Money For Nothing sounds like a great scam. This sounds like a Lose-Lose situation.
14) Bone Thugs-n-Harmony: I'm sure the origins of this name can be traced back to Chaucer. But it still sounds like an awful side dish at a musically themed restaurant. No, I don't want to eat at "Notes" this Friday evening.
12) Hoobastank: Actually, I love this name. But that doesn't mean it isn't awful. I'm known to be partial to things that are completely terrible. You should join me on the couch some night for some TV watching!
11) Evanescence: Aside from the pretentious over-seriousness of the band name, I guarantee that if kids once had problem spelling Led Zeppelin (Lead Zepplin, anyone?), they sure as heck can't spell Evanescence without looking it up. I know, I can't.
10) Clap Your Hands Say Yeah: This sounds like one of those bogus activities they make you do in Summer Camp. Like maybe my parents aren't so bad after all.
9) Big Head Todd And The Monsters: It's not scary, so what's the point? At least a name like Mussolini Headkick sounds like we might be losing a few liberties or having fun with a dead dictator. This sounds like we're going to sit in a circle and tell each other scary stories that just prove what rotten storytellers we are.
8) Enuff Z'Nuff: To think there was once a time when bands liked to misspell things because it was cool. They also thought Spandex and ozone-depleting hair was a good idea, too. Maybe it was! But not goofy names like this.
7) Taking Back Sunday: I wasn't aware that Sunday needed taking back. Is there now a movement in this country where people feel Sunday has been taken away from them? Looking at all the misdirected, or solution free anger out there, it wouldn't surprise me.
6) When People Were Shorter And Lived By The Water: Another one of those band names no one feels like writing out. It's like a woman getting married and already having one long crazy Polish last name and then hyphenating it with ANOTHER one. Sometimes it makes sense to call yourself The Smiths.
5) Staind: Never mind that they can't spell. Even if they could this would be a terrible name. Unless they tour with Woolite.
4) Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch: Granted, if the music had been amazing, maybe we could live with it. But there are certain words white people are not allowed to use. "Fresh," "Flava" and "Funky" are among them.
3) Mr. Mister: Is this clever? Or as stupid as I think it is?
2) Live: This is one of those names that sounds like it's part of an Abbott and Costello routine. Live in the Studio. No, Live are in the Studio. Oh, they're recording Live? Ugh.
1) Limp Bizkit: I'm not even going to make a cheap joke here. They dug their own crappy double entendre, so live with it.