It’s a mighty different world these days. The only time people riot is on Black Friday and that’s FOR capitalism! And our President is so beloved that no one notices anymore that he’s Kenyan! Kidding, of course, he’s from Hawaii, which has been one of our states since at least 1968!
Anyhow, let’s get to the good songs and the good times that we associate with these fine, fine hits. And, remember, if not for these wonderful songs, we’d never have a Miley Cyrus to twerk her life away today!
The order of the songs is chronological, based on a song’s first appearance at #1, with the number of weeks at #1 in ( ).
16) Hello, Goodbye — The Beatles (2): Just four years earlier they were new shiny mop tops and now they had facial hair and even sillier outfits. The Beatles were both saying ‘Hello’ and ‘Goodbye’ (how Hawaiian!) to the psychedelic era that lasted one year. Song gets its entire point across in the first 34 seconds. The rest is in case you missed the first 34 seconds.
14) Green Tambourine — The Lemon Pipers (1): It’s amazing how quickly the whole world went hippie. How did everyone grow their hair so fast? Plans must’ve been in effect to grow it back in 1966! Believe it or not, the video shows a guy playing a Les Paul on this track! Where? Song covers the basics in 28 seconds.
12) (Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay — Otis Redding (4): Otis Redding’s first and only #1 smash was also the first posthumous #1 single in US chart history! Otis, who died in a plane crash on December 10, 1967, did not live to see the money from the 4 million copies sold of his hit single. The song appears to be the correct length.
10) Tighten Up — Archie Bell and the Drells (2): I like songs that begin with “Hi, Everybody!” Politeness is nice. A singer should want everyone to get involved. Of course, it takes him a minute and 15 seconds to finally get into the groove, so maybe he should’ve edited out some of this. But considering this is an early example of funk, it’s OK to hear the growing pains in action. As a dance tune, it’s too short and as a pop song it feels like they fade Archie out just as he was getting good.
8) This Guy’s In Love With You — Herb Alpert (4): It disappoints me greatly that the days of walking into a drug store and hearing the easy listening music of another era are no more. I swear I shopped more while listening to Muzak than when hearing Bruce Springsteen, Michael Jackson and .38 Special. This song is at least three minutes too long if all you’re doing is listening to it, but if you’re in the suppository aisle (don’t ask) it could go on for a good time longer and I wouldn’t mind.
7) Grazing In the Grass — Hugh Masekela (2): If only more songs sounded like a band in a room and not like some kid on his computer building sound upon sound until no one can figure out what’s going on anymore. Fuzz boxes are for people like me who have to hide their incompetence. This, however, is straight playing that doesn’t need a singer to mess it up. Imagine how much money was available to the rest of the band when there wasn’t a lead singer to pay for! Song is perfectly timed. Under three minutes! Think about that, new musicians!
6) Hello, I Love You — The Doors (2): I loved this song when it was “All Day and All of the Night” by the Kinks and I love it here as “Hello, I Love You.” The silly psychedelic touch in the chorus-verse break is cool and the kind of freakiness that professionals now get rid of. Song is amazingly over at less than two minutes and doesn’t actually do anything for the last 50 seconds but give Jimbo a chance to mumble and scream when the song is nearly completely faded. It’s exactly like childhood. All the good stuff happens later!
4) Harper Valley PTA — Jeannie C. Riley (1): Junior High is the worst for every kid. Anyone who liked Junior High was part of the problem because the rest of us hated you and it. Having the school’s PTA on your butt because your mom dresses cooler than the rest of the drunks is perfect for a song. Sequels however, were pointless moneygrabs. Song is the perfect length. Today, it would be three times as long and ten times as bad.
2) Love Child — Diana Ross & the Supremes (2): You can see the diva in Diana Ross’ eyes. Where the others show concern and kindness, Ross shows naked assurance and ambition. If the other ladies weren’t convinced they’d be dumped ASAP, they were either naive or in denial. Or does an ampersand mean something different to some people? Song appears to be a perfect length, but that could be because I just finished typing!
- Arts & Entertainment
- Otis Redding
- Paul Mauriat
- President Richard Nixon
- The Beatles