Perhaps you've heard the expression, "When it rains, it pours!"

If you're like me, it's the sort of the phrase that's bothered you since you were a youngster forced to remain at the dinner table well after you'd finished eating--all for the sake of that silly "family" thing everyone's always talking about!

And while you sat there, seething but too young to realize why, your eyes fixated on that big fat, blue cylindrical object at the center of the dinner table, bearing a blue label and a puzzling illustration of a young girl holding an umbrella, standing in the rain like an idiot, with the legend "When it rains, it pours" next to her!

Again like me, that was probably the precise moment you realized that if you had any sort of future whatsoever, it would lie in writing thought-provoking music reviews, perhaps years in the future, in which you would incorporate virtually every thought that had ever crossed your mind in order to personally fulfill your word quota!

"One day," you perhaps reasoned, "I'll use that expression to convey the joy of an album release week bubbling over with fantastic new product! It will be really artful, and people will admire the analogy!"

Sadly, however, you big brother will then remind your parents that you've once again come to the dinner table without your pants! That too will scar you!

But as you stare at them all...you'll remember!

Various Artists: Chimes Of Freedom: The Songs Of Bob Dylan (Amnesty International)  Certainly one of the week's most ambitious releases is this massive, 4-CD

Whew! Just made it back to my computer!

Like everyone else, I count on the feedback of my peers to determine my taste in music, and did I ever have a rough weekend!

Last Saturday night, I scrambled down to Amoeba Records in Hollywood to pick up whatever music I could by up-and-coming starlet Lana Del Ray, because I heard she was the next big thing! Luckily for me, I found a few pricey imports, plopped down the requisite big bucks, and strolled out of that store cockily, completely convinced that I was on the cutting edge of timeless critical taste and about to join my enlightened brethren in anointing her a goddess while there was still time!

As fate would have it, though, before I could actually break the records out of their packaging, I was captivated by a spectacular box set of 5 Godzilla DVDs that occupied me through the remainder of the weekend! They were, as you might expect, quite good!

Yet this very morning, I'd heard that young Lana had made a fool of herself on Saturday

Welcome to the New Year!

It's been a few weeks now since I've cobbled together this much-loved blog, largely because that which inspires it--the seemingly unlimited supply of new album and DVD releases--dried up during the holidays!

Fortunately for all of us, I didn't!

But those weeks of apparent inactivity weren't entirely fruitless! During that time, I deliberately spent time examining--or re-examining--albums that somehow escaped my full attention during the past few decades! And I'm pleased to report that I spent some serious listening time to 1) The complete works of Kiki Dee, 2) The entire Rush catalog, 3) Most of the recordings by '70s mid-level Brit rockers Stray, and 4) the deluxe reissue of Jethro Tull's Aqualung!

My findings? Those albums are all completely excellent--with the exception of all the dopey Rush lyrics--but still nowhere near as thrilling as the news that Jay-Z and Beyoncé have named their new daughter Blue Ivy!

Earlier today I had a hangnail!

Snow Patrol: Fallen Empires (Island)  When it comes to melodic rockers Snow Patrol--a fine band whose popularity perhaps crested a few albums ago--one

Welcome to the week before the worst week ever!

Well, let's refine that. Welcome to the week where all the really good stuff has already been released two weeks ago by record companies intent on making big bucks before the year's all over!

This week's new releases are those borderline projects that someone somewhere decided to release now, purely because it didn't seem worth it to wait until the New Year for what would likely be a minimal cash return! Or that labels were simply contractually obligated to release, so what the heck! Here it is, take it or leave it!

In short: Looking for a good holiday present and Target's all out of fingernail clippers? Check out the album department!

Anthony Hamilton: Back To Love (RCA)  Well, now I feel kind of

I've often felt that the best way to review music--to really get at the innate greatness or, for that matter, horror, of any new album release--is to completely flush your mind of all preconceived notions of what constitutes good, bad, or compellingly worthless!

And so it is that this evening, just a few short hours ago, I took the wearying drive home and enjoyed a complete listening of the third album by Blood, Sweat & Tears!

I'm happy to report that the album's many highlights--including "Hi-De-Ho," the boldly sexual "Lucretia Mac Evil," and simply the best version of "Sympathy For The Devil" that's ever been recorded--wiped me out emotionally, once again making me long for the innate charisma that BS&T vocalist David Clayton-Thomas almost evilly flaunted, and made me the perfect receptive audience for this week's new releases!

Just in case, I've decided to write this blog with a paper bag over my head!

The Black Keys: El Camino (Nonesuch)  When it comes to garage/blues rock duos

A sincere wish that all of this blog's fine readers--the ones in Oklahoma, Miami, East Lansing, Michigan, that weird chick from Vermont and the other guy--had a fantastic Thanksgiving and are ready, willing and able to have the holiday season of a lifetime!

Yes, it would be nice if that were what I was offering!

But instead, after collecting all the new music release information available to me, I've decided that a mildly entertaining Christmas might be all that's in store for us! Especially if that's a holiday we celebrate!

For it would appear that this week offers little more that repackaged goods by former superstars or video collections largely put together haphazardly to ensure that your hard-earned dollars are spent on mildly entertaining musical afterthoughts rather than life-affirming albums that will play a major part in your joyous memories of a lifetime!

And if I didn't know better, I'd say that many record companies are purely out there intending to make money rather than

It has been scientifically calculated by experts--many of whom are tall, intelligent and undoubtedly better looking than most of us--that this week, this single week, is the one week in which more people will buy record albums than any other!

Likewise, a stunning number of people will likely Google the term "record albums" to ascertain precisely what that means!

But indeed, the days immediately following Thanksgiving are those that most record companies choose to debut those releases they assume will be the biggest releases of the year!

The irony? Those few record stores that still exist all share similarly sized fixtures that can only hold one specific size of CD! And the biggest releases stay in the back of the store while record clerks make jokes about their size, play Rush albums, and make fun of the elderly ladies visiting to buy Justin Bieber albums for their grandkids!

Still, if you're like me, new releases by Nickelback, Michael Jackson and Rihanna make your pulse pound with

It's me, world traveler that I am, writing this blog in beautiful Nashville, Tennessee--one week later than last week, when I was situated in a luxurious Miami condominium, and one week prior to next week, when I'll doubtlessly be penning vital truths in Sherman Oaks, California, where the Diet Coke flows freely and, for kicks, I often listen to the albums I'm writing about!

But still, tonight is special! After a brief stroll through downtown Nashville, hoping to rev up for the sharp critical analysis this blog regularly demands, I passed a venue offering one of the most enticing entertainment experiences of a lifetime--"NUDE KARAOKE," as the prominent signage promised--and instantly returned to my hotel, hoping to write while the iron, as the cliché would have it, was still hot!

And admittedly, it is odd! But writing with an iron is the way I like to do things lately--and if that means bothersome clusters of consonants that I will later have to fix by hand, so be it! And if that also