Like most music fans, I too was captivated by what may have been this week's biggest music story! "Rihanna shares racy topless photos," blared the headlines, accompanied by a helpful "Go To Video" button--which I surely would have pressed, if my mother hadn't been calling at that very minute to thank me for the beautiful flower assortment I'd sent her for Mother's Day!

As you might imagine, clicking that button and seeing Rihanna's racy topless photos just didn't seem appropriate after speaking with my mom!

Instead, I cleaned my room, prepared myself a healthy meal of a small chicken breast and string beans, poured a ginger ale, and sat down to watch the probing and inquisitive TV show 60 Minutes!

Later that night I spent a few hours stalking a few old acquaintances on Spokeo, seeing how long I could hold my breath, checking out that whole Britney Spears/Demi Lovato X Factor thing, and just staring at pictures of Rihanna! It's hard to explain, but after a half-hour, I felt strangely alive...in a way I'd never felt before...so I went and opened up a can of peanut brittle!

"I better not mention this when I write my next blog," I told myself. "what if Mom reads it?"

Adam Lambert: Trespassing (19 Recordings) One of the drawbacks/benefits of working with one of this country's biggest American Idol experts is that, whether I want to or not, I know more about the show than any sane human would ever want! Of course, I don't know what any of the dopey contestants actually

Some out-of-town visitors have taken me mildly by surprise these last few days--and, sad to say, it may be affecting my work habits!

Typically, as faithful readers surely know, I tend to listen to every new album release five or six times, study the lyrics whenever available, compare and contrast the work with each artist's respective past work, weigh the actual release, whether in vinyl or CD configuration (MP3s don't count!), and, perhaps most importantly, study the album cover for relevant clues as to the music contained within!

This week? I forgot to weigh the albums!

I therefore apologize in advance for these less than complete reviews and hope that you'll forgive me just this once!

But between you and me, they all sort of weigh the same!

Silversun Pickups: Neck Of The Woods (Dangerbird) I didn't know how much I'd missed the fabulous Silversun Pickups until I heard this brand new album, their third, and heard the crackling energy, the skilled songcraft, the tight and imaginative arrangements, and remembered all over again that they were one of Los Angeles' finest bands. It's

Apologies for being a day later than usual: I've just finished the second day of a planned three-day, work-related seminar that involves note-taking, PowerPoint slides, role-playing, and an endless supply of Diet Coke!

Yes, as you may suspect, it's been a virtual paradise!

Still, my chosen role as arbiter of good taste--the human whose sole role is to list the week's most interesting new album releases and often, for kicks, write something relevant about them--continues!

And so it is that I will now list 10 new releases--all of them equally exciting, emotionally compelling, and, in an odd way, sexually attractive--and appraise them not only for their cultural worth but for their physical appearance and relevance to you, my faithful readers!

I like the ones I listened to the best!

Norah Jones: ...Little Broken Hearts (Blue Note) That Norah Jones still releases albums on the esoteric and much-admired Blue Note label still says much about her artistic intent: She's quite good, focused on art, and apparently only mildly interested in selling oodles of records! And while she was once the bees knees sales-wise, and a Grammy

Hi! I don't want to bore you with moronic First World problems, but I write about music for a living--and I just spent about 15 minutes trying to remember the name of an album I've been listening to off and on for the past month or so and...I couldn't do it!

Here's all I knew: It was an album made by a dude who used to play keyboards in Stereolab or something. Had absolutely no idea what name it was recorded under, but I recognized it when I saw it on my car's iPod, and I used to play it a lot. I remembered the name of the publicist who'd sent it, but after searching for his name I still didn't see anything recognizable. Still, I'd ripped it--and added the cover art manually, since iTunes didn't help-- but I couldn't remember the name of the album or artist.

So I shifted my home computer into iTunes'  "album art display" mode, fanned everything back and forth a few times, and finally found it.

All this for an album I like.

My plan is to write about it now--so later I can Google "Stereolab," "keyboards," my name, Yahoo, and, I dunno, "Aunt Jemima," and remember its name later by entering data! Unless I'm watching a good TV show or something! Then I may simply forget all about it!

Incidentally, I like that detective show with that chick in it!

Jack White: Blunderbuss (Third Man) Would love to say that I've been totally enraptured by the recorded works of Jack White from Day One, but why lie? He sounds like a guy with pretty good taste but, sadly, second-tier talent--and when you strip away the hypothetical excitement surrounding his former band the White Stripes,

A stunning array of new albums from a diverse range of artists both old and new mark this as the most exciting week in record release history!

Still, writing about another planet entirely--where most musicians make records consisting of handclaps and heavy nostril-breathing--may not make sense in the context of this Yahoo Music blog!

So instead, let's focus on the records released on Earth this week--where, on occasion, good records still sometimes randomly seem to appear, though no one can satisfactorily explain why!

I'm inclined to believe it's purely a function of familiarity! After all, when the week is highlighted by expected big-sellers by artists like Train, Chris Botti, and Jack Johnson, why not visit a record store or buy a download, sit down on your coach, listen to the latest by one of your old music friends, and not focus on man's inhumanity to man, the coming nuclear apocalypse, or why the heck Nicki Minaj just cancelled her Twitter account? Some things are just too harrowing to think about!

Train: California 37 (Aware) There aren't a lot of us out there who suspected that San Franciscan rockers Train would last more than a year or two--especially those of us who once, weirdly enough, perceived them to be little more than a Led Zeppelin cover band--but lo and behold: They hot! Indeed, most of us attribute that to the

There are some weeks when one looks at new album releases and wonders what year it is!

Here we sit, proudly discussing the latest releases by Bonnie Raitt, Counting Crows, Todd Rundgren and German rockers Accept! It's great! Will they be the biggest releases in music business history and catapult their respective makers to superstardom? Heck--maybe, or maybe not!

Or will their simple existence be just enough to catapult those of us increasingly insulated from reality into a horrendous whirlpool of spiritual apathy and desolation? Like...will anything ever change? Shoot! You never know!

Or will we march to the nearest retail outlet, happily purchase all of them, and find a winning lottery ticket on the walk home?

Nope! That will never happen!

Luckily, there still exist some new artists--some proud, exciting new artists--who will record breathtakingly fresh music, lift us out of our emotional doldrums, and provide all of us with a respite from the same old same old and give us all a reason to live zesty and exciting lives in the years to come!

Guess what? They're scheduled to start making albums in 2015--and most of them are blonde!

Bonnie Raitt: Slipstream (Redwing) It might be easy for some people to take Bonnie Raitt for granted: She's an illustrious Grammy winner, she's been around since the early '70s, making good and sometimes near-great records, and

You know, I'd like to pretend I'm extraordinarily interested in the current state of pop music-who's big, who's not, who wins awards, who doesn't, etc.--but there are times, I must admit, when I'd really rather be watching the season premieres of Game Of Thrones and The Killing than some dopey televised awards show!

And so it is that I missed last night's Academy of Country Music Awards!

But fear not! I already know the highlights, and so should you! Taylor Swift won something or other, country pioneers Kiss--who along with Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings rewrote all the genre's rules so many decades ago--finally acceded to popular demand and showed up, and other people won things, too! And apparently there were commercials!

Most jarring? The joint appearance of Mickey Mouse and Leopold Stokowski! And doesn't that just figure?

Still, without Kanye...what's the point?

Rascal Flatts: Changed (Big Machine) Certainly one of the biggest bands in country music, Rascal Flatts continue to amaze with their commercial appeal, their good-hearted, folksy nature, and their always superlative wardrobe! So perhaps it's no surprise that their latest effort, Changed, depicts the band in an entirely new set of clothes! They're nothing if not

There is a certain warmth and sense of reassurance that comes with writing about musicians with whom you are deeply familiar!

This week I'll be writing about new releases from Madonna and Lionel Richie, two superstar artists with distinguished careers behind them--and it's a near certainty I'll sound authoritative as I write about their works, merely because I've been doing so, sort of, for years!

Still, there are few doubters out there--"haters," if you will--who have occasionally commented that it often seems the reviews I carefully craft are completely fictional and have no bearing whatsoever on reality!

Silly doubters! I've only "carefully crafted" about six of them in five years! The rest give me something to do on Monday nights!

Madonna: MDNA (Live Nation/Interscope) The volume of writing about Madonna that has anything whatsoever to do with her actual music as opposed to her image, the controversies that arise in her wake, and her admirable musculature is, in a manner of speaking, a very