An astounding array of world-class records, all released precisely the same week, would be a dream come true for almost any music fan!

A nice collection of some inoffensive albums, all released the same week, while not quite as exciting, might similarly please those of less discerning tastes!

A couple of non-stinkers, all released the same week, might give a desperate few at least some grounds for hope that all was not lost and that, on occasion, a few good things might be heard here and there before the inevitable coming apocalypse!

And absolutely nothing released of any merit, all during the same week, might be the straw that breaks the camel's back, that turns the entire recorded music industry into a distant memory and one-time music enthusiasts into book-reading, TV-watching slobs!

That said, buying a brand new shirt can make everybody feel tip-top!

Zac Brown Band: You Get What You Give (Atlantic)  Certainly one of the biggest music success story of the past few years is that of

Every once in a while I wonder if I'm being an alarmist about the state of the music industry!

Pundits left and right moan about "golden circle" tickets to concerts by artists whose careers peaked decades ago costing 500 bucks a shot! Take a date, throw in a babysitter, dinner and parking, and you're talking more than a grand to see some clownheads whose sell-through date expired sometime in the '90s!

Surely things can't be that bad, you wisely reason!

"Wanna hear something funny," asked a friend of mine this afternoon on IM!

"Shipping on the Kate Nash tix from her site is $11.95"

"We just got a new toilet from Kohler that came in a huge box"

"Shipping on that was $7.95"

Toilet humor: It's never been more relevant!

Heart: Red Velvet Car (Legacy Recordings)  Believe it or not, the Wilson sisters--Ann and Nancy--are still at it, rocking, rolling, and seeing past hits such as "Barracuda" being employed by careerist Alaskans with a hankerin' for Lady Liberty! Still relevant after all

There are certain inescapable times when, if you're like me, you feel completely at one with music!

And at the moment, I'm having a near-peak experience!

As I write this, I just finished listening to Vanity Fare's 1970 hit "Early In The Morning"--and even now the adrenalin buzz lingers! And simultaneously--on the computer on my immediate left--I just finished ripping the 1996 Varese Sarabande compilation John Travolta Sings!

Finally, and I ask you to put yourself in my shoes, I am preparing to soon construct an actual sentence about the Black Label Society! The catch? It may need a verb!

Black Label Society: Order Of The Black (E1 Music)  Often it seems that the biggest stories of all in this exciting world of rock 'n' roll are the ones going on under our very noses of which we are completely oblivious! For example, did you know that slowly but surely, this lovable batch of hard rockers--whose self-proclaimed mantra is "Strength, Determination, Merciless, Forever"--is amassing an

A healthy array of fine new CDs by bands both old and new make this the best album release week of the month!

Between sturdy works by old reliables like Los Lobos and Squeeze, deluxe editions by classic bands like Neu! and the more recent Porcupine Tree, and new product by superstars Lady Gaga and Arcade Fire, there's no point in giving up all music in favor of getting that long-needed Masters in Business Administration!

Instead, why not give up all your ambitions, drop a few hundred at a struggling independent record store, and simply stay at home and enjoy the work of other, more deserving people?

Besides, when you stay at home and never leave the house, you rarely have to change your clothes! At least, that's what I've heard!

Arcade Fire: The Suburbs (Merge)  It's likely that the entire world is waiting to determine whether the Arcade Fire really can deliver the goods with this, their long-awaited third album! Will it be incredibly great, and singlehandedly refute the notion that