Happy New Year!

Two weeks away from the rigors of penning a thought-provoking essay on the week's best new album releases has likely done me--and thus you--a world of good!

Why? Because my New Year's resolution, as of this very moment, is to shy away from writing this blog in a smarmy and snarky manner, to start telling it like it is no matter whose feelings might get hurt, and, most importantly, to stop leaving secret messages via the last word of every seventh album review in this blog for the past 48 weeks and just have some fun!

Won't you join me?

Ke$ha: Animal (RCA)  The whole world is talking about Ke$ha at the moment--largely because non-American writers can't find that wacky "dollar sign" key to write about her! But that's not the only reason! The charming American singer has already been widely heard via her vocal on Flo Rida's "Right Round," and she's just set a new download record with her hot single "TiK ToK"--which has received conspicuous placement in such shows as

Black Friday and Cyber Monday just came and went, so that must mean we've just hit Trashy, Tawdry, Two-Bit or Terrible Tuesday! Take your pick!

That's right! From now until the end of the year, album releases that didn't already hit the stores in time for the Thanksgiving weekend are either second-rate cash-ins, "problem releases" that couldn't make a simple deadline--or, sadly, simply unfortunate!

Yep, like everyone else in the world, I just did all my holiday shopping last weekend, so there's no chance I'll be buying anything else!

However, in the interest of fairness, what say we give this week's new releases a quick once-over before we decide they're of no value whatsoever?

Allison Iraheta: Just Like You (19/Jive)  Let's say you're at college and you have a brand new roommate from Indonesia who's a real music fan! By the end of the semester, like it or not, you're going to have opinions about artists you never even knew existed last year! And so it is that I, too, have developed

It's the week when all the "big guns" start arriving--when labels pull out all the stops and issue albums by artists they know stand the biggest chance of bringing in big bucks!

So whether it's a brand new album, a commemorative box set, a live DVD, or a special-deluxe-super-spectacular-limited-edition version of an album also available on the cheap--hey, why take chances?--it's a sure sign that somebody somewhere assumes these are titles that the entire world is clamoring for!

Naturally, they're all really good!

Bon Jovi: The Circle/When We Were Beautiful  (CD/DVD) (Island/Def Jam)  Far be it from me to suggest I am totally mystified why this fascinatingly mediocre band continues to exist, sell records and concert tickets, strike up lucrative deals with struggling television networks, and actively tout that they've sold "more than 120 million records"! Perhaps it's their hair! But as this fab disc's opening track "We Weren't Born To Follow" makes abundantly clear, rules were made to

A wealth of new releases arrives in the stores this week, as record labels proudly unveil product by some of the biggest names in the music business!

And while it's true that there are contemporary bestsellers represented--this week by Carrie Underwood, Weezer and Slayer--there are a significant number of past superstars in the racks as well!

Among the most conspicuous? Grunge's biggest superstars, Nirvana and the Bee Gees!

Additionally, other people have released records!

Imagine!

Carrie Underwood: Play On (19/Arista Nashville)  While some maintain that the former American Idol winner and country music superstar occasionally veers a little too close to pop on songs like "Cowboy Casanova," few can deny that the lass has a heart of gold and talent to match! Her latest album should take her to the stratosphere--figuratively speaking--if only for the spectacular song selection, the one-of-a-kind philosophical conundrums taken on by such bold songs as "Songs Like This," and the nice