Every once in a while I wonder if I'm being an alarmist about the state of the music industry!

Pundits left and right moan about "golden circle" tickets to concerts by artists whose careers peaked decades ago costing 500 bucks a shot! Take a date, throw in a babysitter, dinner and parking, and you're talking more than a grand to see some clownheads whose sell-through date expired sometime in the '90s!

Surely things can't be that bad, you wisely reason!

"Wanna hear something funny," asked a friend of mine this afternoon on IM!

"Shipping on the Kate Nash tix from her site is $11.95"

"We just got a new toilet from Kohler that came in a huge box"

"Shipping on that was $7.95"

Toilet humor: It's never been more relevant!

Heart: Red Velvet Car (Legacy Recordings)  Believe it or not, the Wilson sisters--Ann and Nancy--are still at it, rocking, rolling, and seeing past hits such as "Barracuda" being employed by careerist Alaskans with a hankerin' for Lady Liberty! Still relevant after all

Exciting new releases by the boatload make this the most compelling week in record-buying history!

On Earth, however, our options are considerably more limited!

Still, with hot new titles by Katy Perry, Little Big Town and Usher available to us all, it most definitely could be worse!

For example: Nuclear war could obliterate us all, and then we probably wouldn't care if there were any new albums!

So, like you, I'm inclined to look at the bright side of things: If these new albums are dull, soul-deadening experiences that make us question whether we've actually lost the sheer verve and love for music that in many ways drives us all, it doesn't matter! There'll be new ones next week!

Plus, they all look so nice!

Katy Perry: Teenage Dream (Capitol)  Some people I work with--whose taste I respect--feel somehow "let down" by Katy Perry, as if she suddenly veered from a path of artistic integrity into a world of crass, cynical popcraft almost evil in its very nature! Others simply think

I have brand new ears!

Well, maybe only figuratively, but it's worth explaining! For the past few weeks, I've been randomly running through my vinyl LP collection and pulling out albums to digitize into CDs, and listening to them as if they were contemporary new releases! And enough time has passed, for most of them, that it absolutely works!

The sticking point is that they must be at least 20 years old or so and never have been issued on CD! At least, CDs that I have! And I'm pretty up on this stuff! So within the last week or so, I've been listening to de-clicked and "restored" albums by Champion, Melton, Levy & The Dey Brothers, the Chanter Sisters, Supercharge, Charlie, Fandango--and guess what? I think that old albums that were made to be played on the radio but never were sound best of all! Why? Because in 2010, they sound avant-garde as heck!

Color TV is also pretty cool!

Brian Wilson: Brian Wilson Reimagines Gershwin (Walt Disney)  I have mixed emotions about this new Brian

There are certain inescapable times when, if you're like me, you feel completely at one with music!

And at the moment, I'm having a near-peak experience!

As I write this, I just finished listening to Vanity Fare's 1970 hit "Early In The Morning"--and even now the adrenalin buzz lingers! And simultaneously--on the computer on my immediate left--I just finished ripping the 1996 Varese Sarabande compilation John Travolta Sings!

Finally, and I ask you to put yourself in my shoes, I am preparing to soon construct an actual sentence about the Black Label Society! The catch? It may need a verb!

Black Label Society: Order Of The Black (E1 Music)  Often it seems that the biggest stories of all in this exciting world of rock 'n' roll are the ones going on under our very noses of which we are completely oblivious! For example, did you know that slowly but surely, this lovable batch of hard rockers--whose self-proclaimed mantra is "Strength, Determination, Merciless, Forever"--is amassing an

A healthy array of fine new CDs by bands both old and new make this the best album release week of the month!

Between sturdy works by old reliables like Los Lobos and Squeeze, deluxe editions by classic bands like Neu! and the more recent Porcupine Tree, and new product by superstars Lady Gaga and Arcade Fire, there's no point in giving up all music in favor of getting that long-needed Masters in Business Administration!

Instead, why not give up all your ambitions, drop a few hundred at a struggling independent record store, and simply stay at home and enjoy the work of other, more deserving people?

Besides, when you stay at home and never leave the house, you rarely have to change your clothes! At least, that's what I've heard!

Arcade Fire: The Suburbs (Merge)  It's likely that the entire world is waiting to determine whether the Arcade Fire really can deliver the goods with this, their long-awaited third album! Will it be incredibly great, and singlehandedly refute the notion that

If you notice a slight twang in this week's blog, it might be because it's being written in Nashville! But, more importantly, you might want to consider getting psychiatric help--because blogs aren't actually audible!

Still, my deep affection for all things Southern is certain to color this exciting rundown of the week's top releases! I'll probably suggest that some terrible records are great just because I'm in a good mood!

But the real cause for my enthusiasm?

Because it's a week when both Fat Joe and Joe have new releases!

It's true! Some blogs actually write themselves!

Avenged Sevenfold: Nightmare (Warner Bros.)  A new album by Avenged Sevenfold is always something to consider--as is the simple fact that you can't walk out of a 7/11 with a Slurpee without paying for it! Still, the much-loved hard rock band has made their point in spades over the course of their career! Not once, not twice, but seven times they've walked out of their local 7/11 without paying for Slurpees while

Sad to report that I'm not in the best of spirits at themoment!

Though with the anonymity of my computer keyboard I canadmittedly write whatever I like in this blog without retribution, I am vulnerable! And on occasion, if I saysomething that some of my more irrational, perhaps physically dangerous, readersdon't agree with--because of the picture at the top of this blog, they can feelfree to leave such comments as "I didn't realize Stephen King was reviewingalbums now" or, even more scarring, call me a"Stephen King-lookin' muthahfu**ah!"

Imagine my chagrin, therefore, when I visited theinteresting internet site I Write Like this afternoon, andread the following: "Check which famouswriter you write like with this statistical analysis tool, which analyzes yourword choice and writing style and compares them with those of the famouswriters."

Happy to follow the site's instructions, I pasted in a sampleof my sterling prose, clicked the "Analyze" button, and was told I write like...Stephen

I just had the most psychedelic listening experience of my life!

It involved hearing Barbara Eden--star of TV's I Dream Of Jeannie--covering Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich's "Bend It" on her one and only 1967 solo album!

Now admittedly, unless you travel in the same circles I do--a group of debonair young sophisticates who cluster around the stereo, mixed drinks in hand, watching obscure Japanese art films and making donations to questionable charities just because we can--this may mean little to you!

Still, in a world where one of the week's best new albums features a member of Def Leppard covering old Mott The Hoople songs, can you begrudge me my smallest pleasures?

M.I.A.: /\/\/\Y/\ (N.E.E.T./Interscope)  It struck me a few years ago that the innate talent young teens had with sending text messages--instinctively grasping which key needed to be pressed once, twice or three times in order to call up a specific letter of the alphabet--was remarkable but somehow sad, in that that