Warning: this post contains spoilers
It feels like only yesterday the second season of "Girls" was premiering, and the promise of a thousand think-pieces stretched before us all. Well, fast forward to ten weeks later, and Sunday, March 17 will mark the last installment of "Girls" season 2 -- a season rife with even more trials, tribulations, and darkness than its predecessor.
However, those dark moments allowed us to learn valuable lessons, even if those lessons are common sense.
1. You can't "save" everyone
Hannah's (Lena Dunham) ex, Adam (Adam Driver), may be one of the most tortured and complex characters in the series, but that doesn't necessarily mean his character is a good person. In the season's first two episodes, we saw Adam's unwillingness to accept Hannah's decision not to be in his life, while in the most recent episode ("On All Fours"), we watched his unwillingness to accept his girlfriend Natalia's (Shiri Appleby) sexual comfort zone. True, Adam may have acted in that way because he fell off the wagon earlier that evening, but his continuous spiral downward is only a reminder that Adam needs to decide to better his own circumstance and get the help he needs.
2. A 33-year-old man and 22-year-old woman might not necessarily gel longterm
Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet) and Ray (Alex Karpovsky) as a couple may have seemed like a cut "Girls" development, but as Ray's indifference towards life goals (or as Shosh put it, "liking things" in general) waged on, he became less an adorable fixture, and more of a liability to Shoshanna's own success (since he's basically relying on her financially). Which is why, we assume, she cheated on Ray with a doorman in episode 8, "Girl, Interrupted." An act that will likely come up a some point again.
3. After your friend's marriage crumbles, be there for her at her family's house
Oh, Jessa. After her breaking up with husband John Thomas (Chris O'Dowd) earlier this season, Jessa descends upon Hannah's apartment, and eventually leads her to the country to visit her father and stepmother in the episode "Video Games." However, here's the thing: they're not good parents, and don't treat Jessa warmly. And while the visit could have been made bearable by Hannah's BFF support, it was made worse after Hannah's tryst with Jessa's stepbrother took precedence. No wonder Jessa just leaves.
4. Do not stick Q-tips in your ears
I know, we've all done it, but... just don't. Ever. Or you will find yourself in the ER like Hannah did during "On All Fours," and then you'll be traumatized, just like anyone who was watching it was.
5. If an artist locks you in his art installation, it's best to leave
We knew artist Booth Jonathan (Jorma Taccone) would return after his run-in with Marnie (Allison Williams) last season, and sure enough, our fears were confirmed in the season's third episode, "Bad Friend." Magically, after locking Marnie in a glorified box (that spewed invasive visual and audio at her), Booth still managed to get her to sleep with him. Of course, the so-called artist was really just in love with himself, and his sense of entitlement led him to attempt pay Marnie to host one of his parties.
6. Don't ever -- ever -- sing Kanye West karaoke, whether you're Marnie or anybody else
Because Marnie did this ("On All Fours"), and everyone had to see, and it felt like it would never end. And "second-hand embarrassment" got a whole, new fun definition.
7. Probably best to avoid hard drugs
Despite the appeal of swapping shirts with a man guy who lands you a yellow mesh tank top, or dancing for hours to Icona Pop, or earning $200 for a blog post about your drug escapade, maybe you should just avoid doing drugs unless you're willing to end your friendship with roommate Elijah (Andrew Rannells), or hook up with the recovering addict (Jon Glaser) who lives below you.
8. No episode of anything ever will receive as much controversy as "White Man's Trash"
After Patrick Wilson appeared as Joshua, a handsome, divorced doctor who had a weekend-long fling at his brownstone with Hannah, the Internet exploded and left only essays, recaps, and think pieces in its wake. Evidently, there is a lot to say about two actors acting, and even more to say about their physical appearances. Which is unfortunate, to say the least.
9. Elijah's absence will be felt
Sure, actor Andrew Rannells may have departed at the end of "Bad Friend" (because he had been cast on the NBC sitcom "The New Normal") but Elijah's dynamic with Hannah was one of the best parts of "Girls" -- especially since it helped keep it light. This season, the show explored things like alcoholism (Adam), OCD and mental health (Hannah), and familial strife (Jessa). While those themes are obviously important, Elijah's presence could have been a welcome contrast. Or maybe that's just because we loved when he called Hannah a "glow worm."
10. Shoshanna still says the best lines
Case in point: "What's wrong with emojis?" Nothing, Shoshanna. Nothing at all.
You can watch the "Girls" Season 2 finale on Sunday, March 17 at 9 p.m. ET on HBO Canada.
- Arts & Entertainment