Last night on the season premiere of Daisy Of Love (the new spinoff-of-a-spinoff dating show starring Rock Of Love 2 sloppy-seconds runner-up Daisy De La Hoya), three of the standout rock 'n' roll bachelors were the Swedish triplets nicknamed '84, '85, and '86 (because of their look-what-the-cat-dragged-in retro fashion sense, of course).

Daisy chose not to pursue a bromance with any of the haystack-haired brothers, mainly because they were a package deal, which admittedly was a little weird. (What, like dating Bret Michaels wasn't weird?) But she also figured that the Swedes were just there to promote their Hollywood hair-metal band, Snake Of Eden, when of course she was there FOR TRUE LOVE.

(Which, um, is of course why Daisy strutted onto the Daisy Of Love set lip-synching her new single, complete with backup dancers and Britney-style headset mic. Because she had nothing to promote and only wanted to find love. Yeah, right.)

Anyway, judging from some Snake Of Eden footage I've dug

In a recently taped Nightline interview that airs on ABC this Thursday night, American Idol's most lovably wacky judge Paula Abdul was, supposedly, straight-up: "I've never been addicted to any prescription drugs. I've never been drunk. I've worked my whole life," she emphatically attested to interviewer Cynthia McFadden.

"I will not take those drugs," Paula continued. "And you can check my medical records. There is nothing like that. I was never on Oxycontin or Vicodin or anything like that. I was on [non-addictive] nerve medicine and anti-inflammatories [for a 1992 neck injury]."

Hmmm...well, I was always kind of hoping Paula was on drugs. Being JWI (judging while intoxicated) would at least explain almost all of her most infamous Idol behavior: critiquing a Jason Castro song that had yet to be sung, drawing a Sharpie mustache on Simon Cowell, clapping like a robotic seal, saying she wanted to squish David Archuleta's little head, passionately advocating that the Judges' Save be

I don't know about you, but I was extremely excited when I found out Quentin Tarantino would be the special-guest mentor on this week's American Idol Movie Night. Some people might have thought Quentin was an odd choice--well, he's just an odd guy, period--but those naysayers didn't realize that a) Quentin is a pop-culture vulture who's always demonstrated an unabashed passion for the trashier/flashier side of entertainment, and b) he was once guested on AmIdol season 3 and was one of the awesome-est celeb judges EVER. He was as wonderfully cheesy as a Le Royale With Cheese and, most importantly, he was really, REALLY enthusiastic. Quentin is basically living proof that a person can be hip and edgy and indie AND still love American Idol. And I love him for that. So I couldn't wait to see him work his magic with the seven Idol finalists this week, the way he once made over other performers in need of some career guidance, such as John Travolta or Pam Grier.

So singing first was Allison

So this week on the season finale of Rock Of Love Bus, Poison frontman Bret Michaels--having (surprise!!!) failed to find true love with previous Rock Of Love winners Jes and Ambre--gave it another go, narrowing down his third-season lovequest to Penthouse Pet Taya and cranky girl-next-door Mindy. (Both brunettes!)

He eventually chose Taya, despite the fact that her possible ulterior motives had been suspect from episode 1--every other word out of her mouth this season seemed to be "Penthouse," and her onscreen wardrobe seemed to consist only of promotional Penthouse T-shirts. Mindy seemed more likely to be on the show for "the right reasons" (if there CAN be a right reason for starring on Rock Of Love, that is). But come on now, there was no way she was going to win over a PENTHOUSE PET in the end.

The finale climaxed, so to speak, with Bret teasing Taya with an engagement ring--a ring he ultimately pocketed for safe-keeping, until he's "100 percent" in love with Taya. (On the show,