The Biggest Loser: Families premieres tonight, and while I'm not the biggest fan of that hokey Biggest Loser theme song "Proud" (you know, the "what have you done today to make you feel proud?" anthem that kinda/sorta sounds like something out of a prescription-drug commercial), I must say I was pleasantly surprised when I got a sneak peek at the favorite workout songs by the show's cast members--first by the trainers and host (see this other playlist blog), and now by the show's contestants thmselves.

Old-school Outkast? Keane? Duffy? M.I.A.? Classic Cult and Clash? Sam Sparro, who actually features on several of the contestants' playlists? Well, color me impressed. These songs might even motivate me to dust off the old stairstepper machine I've been using as a coatrack and work up a sweat of my own.

I feel especially motivated to borrow Ed Brantley's iPod, since his workout soundtrack includes not only the aforementioned Sam Sparro and M.I.A. but also Air, David Bowie, the Chemical

OK, I just want to state for the record, before I proceed with this post, that I am not some toddler-hating monster. Readers, please do not report me to Child Protective Services after reading this. I write this blog out of CONCERN, not scorn, for Kaitlyn Maher.

For those of you not watching America's Got Talent this season, contestant Kaitlyn Maher is an adorable, plucky 4-year-old girl. She sings pretty well for a 4-year-old. But the key part of that phrase is FOR A 4-YEAR-OLD. Her very young and raw talent just is not up to par with that of the older, more seasoned finalists (including some older children in familial bands like the Wright Kids and the Taubl Family). She has absolutely no business being on this show, a show that will award a $1 million contract for a full-time Las Vegas revue to its winner--presumably an adult winner capable of handling that much income, a grueling weekly performance schedule, and fast-lane life in Sin City. This little tot isn't even old enough to

Viewers at home are probably still wondering how in the world Ronny B made it to the top 40 semi-finals round of America's Got Talent.

Piers Morgan has been red-X-ing this vocally and socially awkward bus-stop busker since the open-call auditions weeks ago. Sharon Osbourne calls him an "absurd little man." David Hasselhoff says Ronny has "zero voice, zero danceability, and zero talent"--which would presumably immediately disqualify Ronny from a show called America's Got TALENT, but apparently the producers bent the rules a bit for him. Even Jerry Springer, a man who's seen it all, seems dumbfounded by this "singing ant."

Really now, it's obvious Ronny why was advanced to the semi-finals: to provide comic relief. Because every good TV talent contest needs its own William Hung.

Which brings me to the crux of this post...this week, Ronny B performed the Ricky Martin hit "She Bangs" on America's Got [No] Talent. He WAS amusing, I have to admit (although if Ronny wins this overall

It is an established fact that the addition of second-stringer Ted McGinley to any TV cast results in the certain downfall of any television show.

Happy Days, The Love Boat, Dynasty, Married With Children...the guy has ruined so many programs--or has been recruited in so many unsuccessful last-ditch attempts to salvage already-ruined TV programs--that he has his own category on JumpTheShark.com.

So now it's been announced that Ted, the "patron saint of sharkjumping," will be a cast member on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars.

What's next? Is Darren #2 from Bewitched going to sign up? (Yes, I KNOW both Bewitched Darrens have passed away, people; I'm just trying to make a point.) What about Bo from Welcome Back Kotter or baby Andy from Family Ties or Oliver from The Brady Bunch? They're all still alive, and probably not doing much these days...

Anyway, the one hope for saving DWTS from McGinley Syndrome is Lacey Schwimmer. The So You Think You Can Dance alum has signed on