Tonight's top nine American Idol episode was season 7's first mentor night, excitingly featuring larger-than-life legend Dolly Parton. Forget about Kellie Pickler...when it comes to busty blonde country queens, there ain't no one that can touch Dolly. I mean, the woman has her own theme park. A theme park! Think there'll ever be a Kelliewood? Probably not...
So after a completely lame April Fools joke by Ryan Seacrest that no one believed for a second (there was such a lack of post-punchline laughter in the theater, I swear I could hear crickets chirping), it was time for Dolly to show the top nine finalists how it's done. And this woman's no fool. The contestants had a lot to learn from Ms. Parton. Welcome to Dollywood, dawg!
Up first was Brooke White, doing what is probably my personal favorite Dolly ditty, "Jolene." But as much as I usually love Brooke--even when the judges don't, like when she warbled her unfairly maligned "Here Comes The Sun"--I so did not like Brooke's version of
