December was a most Weir(d) and wonderful month here at Reality Rocks HQ. First the absolutely fabulous Johnny Weir, aka "Adam Lambert on Ice," returned to the small screen as a judge on "Skating With The Stars," actually looking way more rock 'n' roll than contestant Vince Neil. And then the three-time U.S. National Men's figure skating champion, famous for doing double axels and triple lutzes to Lady Gaga hits, took his pop-culture career and plans for world domination to the logical next level, by recording and releasing his own music single. Of course he did.
No, it wasn't a cover of Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" or Foreigner's "Cold As Ice" (though that would have been awesome), but an original electropop club banger titled...wait for it..."Dirty Love." A snippet of the track made its way onto the Interweb last month--complete with suitable-for-framing cover art of Johnny, in all his spandex-sheathed, feather-epauletted, warpaint-eyed, pink-ribboned glory, that still has me hoping that "Dirty Love" remixes will be issued on 12-inch, gatefold-sleeved, sparkly vinyl.
News that "Dirty Love" was recorded by RuPaul's "Cover Girl" producer, Lucian Piane, excited me to no end, but I admit that footage of Johnny attempting some Carrie Underwood karaoke earlier this year didn't exactly leave me with the impression that he's a gold-medal vocalist. (He's not really "Adam Lambert on Ice," you know, that's just a term of endearment.) But Johnny did recently tell People magazine, "I know I'm not a legitimate, real singer, but I can still rock it like Britney." And Johnny was right. I should have never doubted him.
Yes, now the single has finally gotten its official release, and to celebrate, this week Johnny skated to the full version for the first time on television on "The Today Show." Honestly, "Dirty Love" sounds pretty decent. Sure, the vocals are as processed as Lady Gaga's peroxided platinum wigs, but the tune's got an icy-cool (no pun intended), pleasantly Eurotrashily '80s vibe to it, a la synthdisco acts like Visage, Trans X, Blancmange, and Information Society, or like modern-day electropoppers such as Fisherspooner and La Roux.
Surely Gaga or even Britney would approve.