On this week's "ANTM" episode, the models were required to "go viral" by writing and recording pop songs, then shooting semi-pro music videos that would, presumably, blow up YouTube the instant they were uploaded onto the Interweb. It was unclear whether Tyra really even understood what "going viral" means--come on, a video is not going to go viral just because Ms. Banks declares it so. But the girls did their best, and some of them, with the help of plenty of AutoTune and lots of crafty editing, managed to make music videos that weren't total embarrassments.
Anyway, the best video, in my opinion, was by part-time rapper Lisa, a sort of poor-woman's Peaches. Lisa's "Be Like Whoa" was actually pretty awesome, and while she easily upstaged Tyra and Keenan, those two goofballs still seemed to fit with her wacky video performance best. But Lisa lost out to Allison, who worked her sexy-creepy eyes to full effect in her ethereal goth video and mesmerized guest judge Game in the process. Allison's was my second-favorite video of the bunch, but really, it seems like all she ever has to do is flash her wounded-Bambi stare to the camera and she sails straight through. Conversely, Lisa was really WERKING here, and she deserved this prize.
There were a couple other videos I found tolerable/watchable, like sweet Southern belle Laura's girly, wannabe-Katy Perry tribute, and Dominique's J.Lo-esque ode to booty-toochin'. Are these videos going to "go viral"? Um, I seriously doubt it. But they weren't that much worse than anything on MTV right now.
The weakest clips of the bunch were by dead-eyed Shannon, awkward Angelea (who acted like she was Krazy-Glued to that stupid wooden fence), and robotic Alexandria, the latter of whom made the glazed-over girls in Robert Palmer's "Addicted To Love" video look positively charismatic, despite having an especially energetic song to mime along to. In "Go Go Go," Alexandria's get-up-and-go got up and went, or just never showed up to the set in the first place.
Overall, this was a very odd challenge, since these contestants probably aspire to be the next Kate Moss, Cindy Crawford, or Gisele--not, um, the next Chris Crocker, Rebecca Black, or "History Of Dance" dude. But at least now we all know that "Pot Ledom" is "Top Model spelled backwards," and ironically, these videos might go viral after all, although not in the way Tyra probably hoped: Some proactive "ANTM" fans have already uploaded these videos, with Tyra and Keenan's segments EDITED OUT, onto YouTube. Ha.
- Tyra Banks