Ever since the judge I love to love, Steven Tyler, sashayed onto the screen in all his gypsy-scarved, profanity-spewing, inappropiately flirting, duck-befouling glory, the unthinkable has occurred: I have not missed Simon Cowell on "American Idol." This despite the fact that old softies S.Ty and J.Lo have put subpar singers through to Hollywood that the more hardened Simon would've shown the door faster than Fox dumped Brian Dunkleman.
But all it took was one heart-stoppingly thrilling Super Bowl ad, for the U.S. version of Simon's "X Factor," to make all my cold fuzzy Cowell memories come flooding back.
Fox has the technology! They can rebuild him!
Yes, it's only Monday and already this week is abuzz with X-citing "X Factor" news. The Season 1 audition cities have been announced (starting March 27 in Los Angeles, followed by Miami, New York, Seattle, Dallas, and Chicago); audition registration is officially underway at http://www.fox.com/thexfactor/registration; and it's been announced that the American "X Factor" winner will walk away with a guaranteed $5 million Sony Music recording contract, something the typical lesser-paid "Idol" winner can only dream of.
But hey, don't let me tell you all about it. Surely you'd rather hear this X-hilarating news in Simon's famously clipped British brogue, right?
"I'm doing this show in America because I genuinely believe we can find a superstar," says the former Idolmaker. "Why I'm back is that I believe America has the best talent in the world. I believe that with all my heart, and if I didn't believe that, I wouldn't do the show...[But] I don't want somebody who's just going to be a star in America. I want somebody who's going to be a star all over the world. That's what you want at the end of this. You want a global superstar, and the first person who wins this show I guarantee that will happen. I've just got a feeling."
Well, Simon has certainly had that feeling before, so I can't wait to see what he comes up with when "The X Factor" hits American airwaves this fall. Will any of the show's contestants match up to "Idol's" finest allstars? Will any of them ultimately outsell whoever wins Season 10 of "Idol" this year? And most importantly, will they be able to compete on the charts with the pop megastars namechecked in the second "X Factor" Super Bowl commercial below? That remains to be seen (and heard), but regardless, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the REAL star of "The X Factor," Sir Simon himself, back on my TV screen.