Grammy award winner Beyoncé offers more insight into ending her business relationship with her father, false rumors about using a surrogate mother, and love for her husband, Jay Z, in her HBO documentary, Life Is But A Dream, that airs Saturday at 9 p.m.
Below are five revelations from the film:
1. Why did she drop her father as her manager?
Beyoncé’s father Matthew Knowles was relieved of managing her career in 2011. The Destiny’s Child singer said it was a tough but necessary decision. “I think one of the biggest reasons I decided it was time for me to manage myself because at some point you need your support system and you need your family,” she says in Life Is But A Dream. “When you’re trying to have an everyday conversation with your family you have to talk about scheduling and you have to talk about your album and performing and touring. It’s just too stressful and it really affects your relationship,” she says. Beyoncé adds the decision to sever her business ties with her father, who began preparing her for super stardom when she was a child, wasn’t easy. “It was hard,” she offers. “I had to sacrifice my relationship with my dad. It was stressful, sad, difficult time, but I had to let go.”
2. How did music help her cope with having a miscarriage?
After losing her first child to a miscarriage, Beyoncé sought therapy through music. She went into the studio and wrote and recorded what she describes as “the saddest song I’ve ever written.” In the lyrics, Beyoncé expresses grief and anger, singing, “I guess love just wasn’t enough for us to survive. I swear I swear I swear I tried. You took the life right out of me. I’m so unlucky I can’t breathe. You took the life right out of me. I’m longing for your heartbeat, heartbeat.”
3. Why she isn’t as nice as she used to be?
After Beyoncé fired her father as her manager, she began to manage herself. When she took over the reigns, she realized it wasn’t an easy job. “My father taught me so much about being a business woman and I’m understanding him a lot now and I think I’ve realized that business and being polite it doesn’t match,” she says. “I mean, you can be fair, but me being polite was not me being fair to myself. Now, I’m learning how political things are and a lot of the crazy things he did were necessary.”
4. What did she say to Jay-Z during her toast for his 37th birthday in 2006?
Beyoncé loves her some Jay-Z and it was evident in her emotional remarks to him during a dinner party with some of his closest friends. “You’ve taught me so many things,” Beyoncé says while holding a wine glass. “You’ve given me so much in life and this is not enough. It’s not enough I can give you. I just want you to be happy. And ever year, I’m even more in love with you and I want to spend everyday of my life with you. Happy birthday and I thank God for you everyday.” Jay-Z smiles as quietly sits.
5. Why did the rumors about her faking her pregnancy upset her?
Beyoncé dismisses the rumors that she used a surrogate mother to have her child Blue Ivy as “the most ridiculous rumor I’ve ever had about me.” She adds that she realizes that there are crazy celebrities who do outlandish things for attention but she would never make light of having a child. “I respect mothers and women so much and to be able to experience bringing a child into the world – if you’re lucky and fortunate enough to experience that – I would never take that for granted.” She continues that having a miscarriage makes the topic even touchier. “Especially after losing a child, the pain and trauma from that just makes it mean so much more to get an opportunity to bring a life into the world,” she says. “It’s something you have to respect. … There’s certain things you just shouldn’t play around with and a child, you don’t play around with that.”