It's safe to say James Burns has never been a big Weezer fan, and that Weezer's latest album, Hurley, didn't win him over. Burns is such a Weezer hater, in fact, that's he's launched an online fundraising campaign to earn enough money to bribe the band into calling it quits for good.
But Burns insists his motives are not based on his personal feelings about Weezer's music. "This isn't about me. This is about the Weezer fans. They are our brothers and sisters, our friends, our lovers," he says in the mission statement on his campaign website. "Every year, Rivers Cuomo swears that he's changed, and that their new album is the best thing that he's done since Pinkerton, and what happens? Another pile of crap like 'Beverly Hills' or 'I'm Your Daddy.' This is an abusive relationship, and it needs to stop now. I am tired of my friends being disappointed year after year...
"If all 852,000 of you (really?) who bought Pinkerton pitch in $12, we will meet our goal.
"I beg you, Weezer. Take our money and disappear."
As of this writing, Burns still needs to raise $9,999,806 to meet his ambitious $10 million goal. But his grassroots campaign has already caught the attention of Weezer drummer Patrick Wilson, who actually tweeted about the fundraiser with, "If they can make it to 20 [million], we'll do the 'deluxe breakup!'"
There's no word on whether or not the good-humored Wilson has contributed any of his ill-gotten Weezer royalties to Burns's cause. If you would like to donate, click here.