Combing the news stories each week generally returns the same types of results--lawsuits, public embarrassment, and other various controversies. So luckily, you are again in for a treat. But be forewarned, a couple good things did actually happen during the last seven days.
What better way to start the party than with the latest on Amy Winehouse and her incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil who make sensationalist reporting quite easy. When I check my stock ticker every morning, I also look out for updates on the day's movement for the Winehouse and Fielder-Civil household. I haven't been disappointed yet and this week their antics include a topper even the most outlandish tabloid could not concoct.
Early Wednesday, Winehouse was allegedly involved in a headbutting incident. If there is any truth to this, it might validate some of the myths surrounding her three-foot high beehive that I personally believe she uses to conceal various things, including weapons. As Winehouse headed to a London police station Thursday to discuss the spectacle, her husband and his buddies were in court fighting charges of witness tampering associated with an impressive pub fight last year. Add to such perfect civil alignment, a pretty young blonde thang, Sophie Schandorff, was there in support of Fielder-Civil, mouthing "I love you" to him throughout the proceedings. I really think that Winehouse should take a lead from R. Kelly and make her next album a "Trapped In The Closet"-esque hip-hoppera. Hers could also have an endless number of chapters.
I'd suggest that R. Kelly help pen Winehouse's next effort, but looks like he's too busy with his own affairs. If us media types have our way, we'll get to participate in the fun at Kells's expense of course. The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times and The Associate Press hope to obtain transcripts of R. Kelly's closed pretrial hearings and have lifted a gag order on the attorneys. If I had a genie and three wishes, I would ask that these requests be granted. Kelly's attorneys need more time to respond. Unfortunately in their cases, they need more than time. They could actually use one of my three wishes. The jury selection for the matter that accuses the superstar recording artist and producer of videotaping himself having sex with a child is scheduled to begin on May 9. I bet this is one instance where Chicago residents are excited when they open their mailboxes to find jury duty assignments. But Kelly isn't the only one in the news this week battling tape problems. Yoko Ono is suing movie producers for using in a film John Lennon's "Imagine" without permission.
The documentary, Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, questions the theory of Darwinian evolution and features actor Ben Stein. The song feature has prompted critics to call Ono a sellout, suggesting that she approved the record's use. The producers argue that "Imagine" was fair use for its social relevance and news commentary. Ono claims that the producers intentionally did not seek approval because they feared that the song would not get cleared or did not want to incur the cost to secure the rights. The film made its debut last week and impressively opened in the number 10 spot, making nearly $3 million and receiving rave reviews. Your pals at That's Really Week wonder if Ono, Lennon's sons, and EMI Blackwood Music Inc. intentionally waited until after the movie's release to file their complaint? I mean, would there even be a need to sue the makers of the movie if it couldn't yield a profit? Yours truly, a self-proclaimed Fergie fan club president wannabe, is considering filing his own suit against whomever approved Miss Fergalicious's "Label Or Love" for the Sex And The City soundtrack. Just sorta kidding.
"Labels Or Love" is the first release from the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, due out on May 27. The set also includes offerings from Jennifer Hudson, who has a role in the film, India.Arie, Morningwood, and a cool duet of Al Green and Joss Stone singing "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart."
It is Madonna, however, who makes the most impressive movie headline this week as she unveiled her documentary I Am Because We Are to critical acclaim at the Tribeca Film Festival. The piece seeks to raise awareness and encourage support of the poverty stricken and disease ridden nation Malawi. It was inspired by Madonna's visit to the country and is the place where she met David Banda, the child she is in the process of adopting. Madonna is currently seeking a distribution deal for the project that would include both a theatrical and DVD release. The Grateful Dead have already secured a deal for their special project.
Guitarist Bob Weir and drummer Mickey Hart announced Thursday the band's partnership with the University of California Santa Cruz. The campus will house what is believed to be the largest archive of fan memorabilia for one band. The recorded interviews, concert ticket stubs, fan letters, photos and press clippings will on display at USCS's McHenry Library in a 50-by-20 foot room named "Dead Central." The collection will not include original music. During the press conference Weir advised attendants not to "lick any of the letters." In other good news this week, the free pass for good behavior goes to Snoop Dogg.
Snoop may soon be able to obtain a visa to enter the Britain thanks to the efforts of a panel of immigration judges who rejected the Home Office's attempts to ban him from the country. In January, a lower court determined that Snoop was not responsible for the 2006 brawl at British Airways's VIP lounge. If the government elects to appeal the immigration judges's decision, it must do so within one week. I just hope Snoop's reaction is documented on Snoop Dogg: Fatherhood. It will be great TV either way.
Well, that should be enough dirt to satisfy you until next week's wrap up. Make sure to comeback to find out who else is in trouble, denying their involvement in a controversial event or simply "just good friends" with the other hot celebrity they just so happened to be photographed kissing.
THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:
1) Operation Desert Storm - Y! Music invades Coachella Music Festial.
2) Glamorous Life - Fergie debuts new song on the Sex And The City movie soundtrack.
3) Avril Makes A New Girlfriend - Avril spends one-on-one time with fan at Biloxi concert.
4) No Good Indeed - Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil face separate law matters on the same day.
5) Idol Gives Back - Madonna screens documentary on Malawi at Tribeca Film Festival.
6) Dancing With The Stars, Again - Donnie And Marie Osmond bring their brother and sister act to Las Vegas.
7) Keep It On The Down Low - The Associate Press and other media outlets want transcripts from R. Kelly's pretrial hearing.
8) Off Key - Swollen vocal chords prompt Alicia Keys to cancel concert.
9) Girl You Know It's True - American Idol sends Carly home.
10) What Time Is It? - Nick Lachey to host ABC's High School Musical reality show.