Anyhoo, THEN Van Halen got inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, and while the original bandmates managed to get along well enough to collaborate on a superbrief joint statement about this milestone ("It is an honor and a privilege and we would like to thank the fans and the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame committee," they--or their respective publicists--blandly remarked), when the actual ceremony took place earlier this year, the only original band member in attendance was bassist Michael Anthony. Ironically, Michael had already been replaced in the current VH lineup by Eddie's most unfortunately named 16-year-old son, Wolfgang. D'oh!
Phew! Got all that? OK, back to the present...
Sooooo, as you've probably figured out by now, that reunion never happened. Eddie checking into rehab probably had something to do with that. But now it looks like old-school VH fans will finally get their chance to dance the night away, when Dave, Eddie, Alex, and, um, Wolfgang hit the road this fall! So get ready for the most dysFUNctional band reunion since, well, that time that Eddie and Dave shared the stage at the 1996 Video Music Awards for about 38 disastrous seconds. We just hope the guys hold it together long enough to make it to an arena near us; but hey, if everything falls apart before they get a chance to perform that Cabo Wabo dreck from the Van Hagar years, we'll sorta be OK with that.Amy "You Know I'm No Good" Winehouse was back in the news this week. Seems the woman with the most appropriate surname in showbiz cancelled yet more gigs (she's flaked out so many times now, bookies have started taking bets on whether she'll show up to her concerts) after collapsing and reportedly having her tiny concave stomach pumped in a London hospital. Amy's publicist, of course, said she was hospitalized for "severe exhaustion." (Funny, wasn't that what Eddie Van Halen was treated for?) Either way, just get well soon, Amy. We're worried about you. Lily Allen and Pete Doherty, also made headlines this week--Lily for mysteriously having her U.S. visa revoked (did her party-girl ways, or recent scuffle at a London nightclub, have anything to do with that?), and Pete for mysteriously managing to avoid prison for at least few more weeks (the judge is going to give the Babyshambolic rocker one more chance to detox--um, yeah, right). Crikey! Let's hope all three of these Limey louts--the treacherous trio of Amy, Lily, and Pete--start saying yes, yes, yes to rehab in the very near future. Lee Hazlewood, who sadly passed away this week at age 78. Even if you've never heard of Hazlewood, certainly you've heard his awesome anthem, "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'," popularized by '60s sex-kitten Nancy Sinatra. Of course, that tune was also covered by Jessica Simpson, Crispin Glover, Billy Ray Cyrus, and, er, David Hasselhoff...but hopefully those versions won't tarnish Lee's lasting legacy. No matter what, many red-blooded men out there should gratefully honor the artist who, among other achievements, penned the sensational song that inspired a micro-mini'd Nancy to shimmy in thigh-high go-go boots and a bikini-clad Jessica to writhe on the hood of a soapy Dukes Of Hazzard muscle-car. Yep, come to think of it, Hazlewood was the real General Lee.
All right, much like Van Halen and David Lee Roth in the past (but hopefully not in the future), we must split. But do come back next Friday for more amusing, confusing, and downright excitement-oozing news, Until then, goodnight, and good music.
THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:
1) Shine On, You Crazy Diamond - Diamond David Lee Roth & Van Halen are finally getitng their act back together.
2) Going Out In A Hazlewood Of Glory - The "These Boots" songwriter passes away.
3) Fading Back To Black - Amy Winehouse is hospitalized for "exhaustion." Again.
4) U.S. Immigration Authorities Don't Smile On Lily Allen - Her visa is revoked for reasons unknown.
5) Anti-Trust Superstar - Marilyn Manson is being sued by his ex-bandmate for $20 million.
6) Papa's Got Some Brand-New Kids - DNA testing reveals that James Brown fathered at least two more children before his death.
7) Jennifer Lopez Throws The Book At Her Ex - J.Lo is awarded nearly $545,000 in a lawsuit over her first husband's memoirs.
8) Unhappy Mondays - Manchester music guru Tony Wilson (the man behind the Happy Mondays, New Order, and Joy Division) dies at age 57.
9) Cheap Trick Want To Be A Pepper Too - The '70s band recreates all of the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper album in an historic Hollywood Bowl concert.
10) Pete Doherty's Get-Out-Of-Jail Card Still Working - A judge gives the Babyshambles frontman one more chance. Too bad Kate Moss wasn't as forgiving.
written by Lyndsey Parker 8/10/07
- Arts & Entertainment
- Eddie Van Halen
- Van Halen