Years ago when the pre-prison Lindsay Lohan was still trying to moonlight as a pop star, she recorded her statement song, "Confessions Of A Broken Heart (Daughter To Father)," a not-exacty-sentimental ode to her estranged jailbird father, Michael Lohan. The lyrics included scathing lines like "I am broken...I am crying, a part of me's dying," and "I dream of another you, one who would never, never, leave me alone to pick up the pieces," and "Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?" The accompanying video starred Lindsay's probably equally troubled little sister, Ali, playing a young, broken-hearted Lindsay watching her parents fight.
The results were not pretty. They were pretty horrible, actually.
Anyway, now that Lindsay is in jail herself, Michael has released a response song of sorts, a decidedly mushier (yet even more unsettling) ballad about how "a father's love will never die" and how L.Lo will always be "daddy's little girl." And it's so bad, it makes "Daughter To Father" sound like the Beatles' "Yesterday."
Apparently M.Lo wrote the straight-off-a-Hallmark-card lyrics to this song during one of his own past jail stints, and now he's enlisted the help of an anonymous singing friend as a way of reaching out to his daughter behind bars. (No, that's not Michael singing, so I guess it could have been worse. But Michael should still go back to jail for this musical crime.)
So, what do you think of Michael's dad ballad? Think Lindsay will be touched? Or just creeped out? Post your comments/rants below.